Yuk, Hack, Choke, Puke

It seems Johnny G is down for awhile, he ain't feeling to good.
Felt like a bad chest cold but more like the flu now.
Just talked to my Aunt and My Uncle told me not to die , it is just to damn cold out to bury my ass.
But rest assured Unc it is nice and toasty by the crematorium.

Best wishes for You all on THE NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

2 Saturday #3's for Today

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are...
Bought Jefferson's Bible

Bought Pagan Christianity

And as alway's, thanks for listening!

Tis The Season

Merry Christmas
Happy New Year

Putting The Cat Out

It was 11:30 pm,And I just put The cat out.
But it hadn't been easy!
He had burned more fiercely than I had Anticipated.

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Tiger Woods Holiday Poem

Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods he came flying, chased by his spouse.
She wielded a nine iron and wasn’t too merry,
Because a bimbo’s phone number she found on his blackberry.
He’d been cheating on poor little Elin,
And as each day went by another whore came out squealing.
He’d been on Holly, on Jaimee, on Rachel, on Cori,
On Joselyn, and Kalika, TMZ had the story.
From the top of the world to above the fold,
Tiger’s ever more sorted tale, it was told.
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
And when he wasn’t hosing them, he sent them hot texts.
He crashed his Caddy, but didn’t call OnStar,
Yet he played “spank me daddy” with a skanky old porn star.
He’s been naughty, so with Santa he hasn’t a chance,
Except the big lump of coal that matches the lump in his pants.
But despite all his crying and begging and pleading,
Tiger’s wife went right out, bought a new home in Sweden .
And I heard her exclaim as she packed up the Escalade,
If you’re going to get laid, then I’m going to get paid.
Now she’s not pouting, in fact she’s of good cheer,
Because her prenup made Christmas come early this year.

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Keep "em" On Their Toes

The next time you're at your local grocery store and the cashier asks you if you want paper or plastic, tell them you want woven silk or better yet rolled steel!
Let them think about it!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

In The News

Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing - Gary Coleman is going to drown !

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

In The Future

A time machine will be built but no one will have the time to use it!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as alway's, thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes how you feel or what's going on .
My 3 words are.....
Missing My Debbie

And as always,thanks for listening!

Things That Are In Common!

I just realized that my ex old lady and my ex old house both have mold in the basement!

And remember....
Laissez les on temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

You Are Wishing Me What?

When you call my house and wish me a Happy Holiday ,you can stick it in your ass,there is nothing "Happy" about my Holiday.
I'm tired of the P.C. Bullshit the Government tries to shove down our throats!
It is Jesus Christ's Birthday,you know, Christmas , The Birth Of our Saviour.
That's what it is, no need to sugar coat it for the non believers, Merry Christmas Not Happy Holidays, that's all I got to say!

Here is a list
Afrikaans - een plesierige kerfees
Arabic - I'D MIILAD SAID OUA SANA SAIDA
Argentine - Felices Pasquas Y felices ano Nuevo
Armenian - Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari Gaghand
Azeri - Tezze Iliniz Yahsi Olsun
Basque - Zorionak eta Urte Berri On!
Bohemian - Vesele Vanoce
Brazilian - Boas Festas e Feliz Ano Novo
Breton - Nedeleg laouen na bloavezh mat
Bulgarian - Tchestita Koleda; Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo
Chinese - (Mandarin) Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan (Catonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sun
Cornish - Nadelik looan na looan blethen noweth
Cree - Mitho Makosi Kesikansi
Croatian - Sretan Bozic
Czech - Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok
Danish - Glædelig Jul
Dutch - Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar!
English - Merry Christmas
Esperanto - Gajan Kristnaskon
Estonian - Ruumsaid juuluphi Farsi - Cristmas-e-shoma mobarak bashad
Finnish - Hyvaa joulua
French - Joyeux Noel
Frisian - Noflike Krystdagen en in protte Lok en Seine yn it Nije Jier!
German - Froehliche Weihnachten
Greek - Kala Christouyenna!
Hawaiian - Mele Kalikimaka
Hebrew - Mo'adim Lesimkha. Chena tova
Hindi - Shub Naya Baras
Hungarian - Kellemes Karacsonyi unnepeket
Icelandic - Gledileg Jol
Indonesian - Selamat Hari Natal
Iraqi - Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
Irish - Nollaig Shona Dhuit
Italian - Buone Feste Natalizie
Japanese - Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto
Korean - Sung Tan Chuk Ha
Latvian - Prieci'gus Ziemsve'tkus un Laimi'gu Jauno Gadu!
Lithuanian - Linksmu Kaledu
Manx - Nollick ghennal as blein vie noa
Maori - Meri Kirihimete
Marathi - Shub Naya Varsh Navajo - Merry Keshmish
Norwegian - God Jul
Pennsylvania German - En frehlicher Grischtdaag un en hallich Nei Yaahr!
Polish - Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia
Portuguese - Boas Festas Rapa-Nui - Mata-Ki-Te-Rangi. Te-Pito-O-Te-Henua
Rumanian - Sarbatori vesele
Russian - Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva is Novim Godom
Serbian - Hristos se rodi
Slovakian - Sretan Bozic or Vesele vianoce
Sami - Buorrit Juovllat
Samoan - La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou
Scots Gaelic - Nollaig chridheil huibh
Serb-Croatian - Sretam Bozic. Vesela Nova Godina Singhalese - Subha nath thalak Vewa. Subha Aluth Awrudhak Vewa
Slovak - Vesele Vianoce. A stastlivy Novy Rok
Slovene - Vesele Bozicne. Screcno Novo Leto
Spanish - Feliz Navidad
Swedish - God Jul and (Och) Ett Gott Nytt År
Tagalog - Maligayamg Pasko. Masaganang Bagong Taon
Tamil - Nathar Puthu Varuda Valthukkal
Thai - Sawadee Pee Mai
Turkish - Noeliniz Ve Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun
Ukrainian - Srozhdestvom Kristovym
Urdu - Naya Saal Mubarak Ho
Vietnamese - Chung Mung Giang Sinh
Welsh - Nadolig Llawen
Yugoslavian - Cestitamo Bozic Papua
New Guinea - Bikpela hamamas blong dispela Krismas na Nupela yia i go long yu

Merry Christmas Too All!

And as always, thanks for listning!

How Come?

How come the Midwest is in the United States And the Middle East is way the hell overseas some place?

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are.....
Going Shopping Soon!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Books You Don't See

Here is a book you don't see....
A picture book of permanent stains.

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Things You Rarely See

You rarely see an elderly midget,
Apparently their life spans are shorter too!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Addiction Days

Back in the '80's, my addiction days,I would wake up and try to decide what wine would go good with Capt'N Crunch, if not I would smoke a bowl full of Fruit Loops and go back to bed!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

In The News

A Wilkes-Barre area man wearing a Have A Nice Day T-shirt was shot to death by a guy who worked nights!

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are......
Sprained my ankle.

And as always,thanks for listening!

Phone Fun

Did you ever have one of those boring days and you need to get out of that funk?
Do what I do for entertainment, when the phone rings answer it like this....
Hello, Garnett's House of Hemorrhoids how may i help you?

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Author's note : Insert your own name

Racy Werds

Never tell your Hispanic House Maid to clean your floors with spic n span, it pisses them off!

And remember......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,Thanks for listening!

Have A Great One

Just A Thought

Somewhere in the United States a 17 year old girl needs a note for being absent but does not need one for an abortion! WTF?

And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's Late

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes how you feel or what's going on.
My 3 words.....
Playing with Grandson

And as always, thanks for listening!

Things You Never See

A puppet with a hard -on

A butterfly with a swastika design

The latin word for douche bag

A junkie with leisure time

A serial killer with a light-up bow tie

A mom & Pop steel mill

A shot glass full of carrot juice

A bum with matching luggage

Really interesting twins

Condoms with pictures of saints

Two homosexuals who own a bait shop

A pimp with low profit margin

A Rolls-Royce that's more than 50 percent primer paint

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Things I Can Do Without

People In Line Ahead Of Me
Here's someting I can do with out:People ahead of me on the supermarket line who are paying for an inexpensive item by credit card or personal check.
People! Take my word for this: Tic Tacs is not a major purchase.
And I get just as discouraged when a guy who's buying a simple jar of spaghetti sauce tries to pay with a letter of credit from the bank of Liechtenstein!
Folks carry some fuckin'money around, will ya? It comes in handy!
No one should be burrowing money from a bank at 18% intrest to buy a loaf of fuckin' bread!

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

What Purpose Is This Life I Live

Just sat here trying to figure out the last 47 years of my life and what purpose did it hold?
Fuck, what is this purpose of life and why is it so damn hard to live?
Humans since the day they are born are the only animals on this planet that know that the outcome of life is death.
I'm comfortable with that but what freakin' purpose does it hold?
Why do we keep this fucking cycle going, the pleasure of birth the sorrow of death?
I watched death many times , the sorrow agonizing pain of it all but yet we choose to give birth to feed it again.
Life is some crazy shit and time is priceless but yet we keep it going for the next generation to enjoy the pleasure of birth and the sorrow of death.

And as always, thanks for listening!

Movie Ratings

I hear the movie "Men That Stare At Goats" is Rated R In the United States, over in the Middle East It is XXX rated!

And remember......
Laissez Les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

The ER

When I was in the Er Tuesday night they did the swine flu swab and guess What?

And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are......

Today is beautiful!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Rational & Irrational Suicide

Rational Suicide- When one is terminally ill and takes ones life in his own hands on his own terms.


Irrational Suicide- When Mental illness chooses for you and you don't seek other options of help and you listen to those little feelings to escape mental pain.

I'm right in the middle of a tight rope walk and if I stay I'll be ok.

Monday woke up feeling pretty shitty, copd , chest cold , lung infection settled in , labored breathing until Tuesday 3:30 PM, copd eased up until about 7:30 and kicked back up in full flare.
Took my myself of oxygen , wrote my last will & testament for my kid , sat down and read a few journals, joked around, got tired and laid down to die, let nature take it's course I figure.
Laying there waiting to die in dignity, had stomach cramps and did not want to shit all over deaths parade, crawled into the toilet did my shit and laid back down to die.
I don't know what made me get up to answer an e-mail( forgot to shut the freakin computer off), It was my Friend Jim Sullivan that sent me a life saving e-mail, you see Jim likes singing and records it and he sent me a song that saved my life!!!!!!!!!
Mr. James Sullivan Sir , God bless you!





Well that song put a freakin' great spark into my heart , got me rethinking life!
So on that note......
My darling Debbie I love you with all my heart and soul, yes darling I'll save the last dance for you!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm ok now ,Peace be with all of you, I love you all!

I'm here to stay!

And as always,thanks for listening!

Jumping Johnny G. Is A Big Fan

Guys Pay Attention

In my younger days I could never keep a relationship going,I remember one of my girl friends had read in one of those cozmos that in a relationship your partner should pay attention to your self being.
I Don't remember her name, the relationship had ended early ,due to the fact that when she asked me what the color of her eyes were, well let's just say that 34 c was not the right answer!

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

Why Do I Want To Know This?

New fun shapes is what is advertised on the bag of Dad's Cat Food along with 3 irresistible flavors, chicken, salmon and Tuna.
I know a few of you out there have highly intelligent cats but how many actually know how to read and when did they go out and actually kill a chicken, salmon or tuna to dine on for dinner?
Never, at least not in my yard!
Unless they come up with mouse, robin and snake flavored shapes, I don't think my Simon actually gives a rat's ass whats printed on the bag!

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Late Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes how you feel or what's going on.
My 3 words are......
Cable was down!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Did We Lose Our Freedoms Of Speech?

Congrats

To all the Yankee Fans , Congrats on the 27th world series win!

The Worms Crawl In

Whenever you see a hearse go by, you may be the next to die.They'll wrap you up in a big white sheet and throw you in a hole that's 6 feet deep.Everything's fine for a week or so and then your nose begins to grow.The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play pinochle on your snout.Your stomach turns to an icy green and pus shoots out like white whipped cream.You wipe it up with a slice of bread, and that's what you eat when you are dead.

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.

My 3 words are.....

Enjoy Your Halloween!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Tis The Season

Happy All Hallows Eve!

Tonight is the night that the Celtics believed that the border between our world and the dead was very thin and the dead can pass back and forth into our world and theirs.They would make jack o" lanterns out of turnips to scare off the spirits!

Tonight is my favorite night, It's Mischief Night!!!!

All the little imps and ghouls go out tonight for ding dong ditch,stomp the shit and tp toss!

3 ply Tp is the best for durability and distance but don't squeeze the Charmin ,it don't fly right!

Have a great night you juvenile delinquents and don't forget your soap!

And remember....

Laissez les bon temp rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Thoughts On Sex

Vasectomy means you never have to say your sorry!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Thoughts On Life

Life is like a tin of sardines and we all are looking for a key!

And as always, thanks for listening

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes how you feel or what's going on.
My 3 words are....
Got tonights tickets!

And as always.thanks for listening!

Ordering Out

Thank God they found that little boy who was supposedly lost in that balloon.
For a moment there I thought Michael Jackson had ordered Take -Out!

And remember......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Mental Meltdown

For the first time in my life I'm all alone.

I don't know what the future holds for me, it kind of looks bleak right now.

The depression seems to be getting deeper, its roots dug deep in to my soul.

I met a nice lady at one of the stores I go to (about 2 weeks ago) we are slowly becoming friends, I was going to ask her yesterday if she wanted to join me for dinner, until I realize her name was Debbie, I almost had a freakin' melt down right there in the store.

I came home in a disturbed depressed state, What the hell was I thinking ? It is way to early to be asking anyone to join me for dinner.

My heart still hurts, my mind aches for my Debbie,how could I do that to her?It feels like I'd be cheating on her!

I've been in a bad way , need sleep.

I think I'm going to need therapy and stronger pills.

Going to medicate so I can sleep, Good night!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.

My 3 words are ......

Making Fritters Today!

And as always, thanks for listing!

You Can't Always Get What You Want

I went to Wal-Mart today to get my Prozac refilled And I asked the Pharmacist out on a date.
She looked sternly into my eyes and said" What are you freakin' nuts!"

And remember....
Laissez le bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

What Can I Say?

When I was 11 I was kidnapped , Mom & Dad snapped into action ,they rented out my room!

And remember.....

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

How Many Times?

I was reading about sex in a Magazine, It says that the average person in his or her life time has sex 2865 times.

Boy I sure do have a lot of catching up to do!

And remember...

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Cousin Update

After bringing my Aunt Ruth back from her Maryland vacation, Cousin Debbie was on her way back to Maryland, she stopped to say hello to cousin Bob, after leaving his house she was broadsided by a small pickup truck on the driverside door.
My cousin Bob was a few minutes behind her, ran up to her car and cut the deployed driverside air bag, called 911 and helped her until the ambulance got there.
She has a few fractured bones,3 fractures in the pelvis and 2 in her leg and a few bumps and bruises.
Her car was mangled but thank God that she is alive!
When I got the call last night it took me back to August of 1985, when cousin Mary was killed in a car accident, Cousin Debbie's sister,I was in a bad way all night until I heard her voice today, Debbie's that is.
Thank you All very much for your prayers.
Thank you Lord for being with her and keeping her safe.

And as always,thanks for listening!

Prayers Needed Please

My Cousin Debbie was in a bad car accident, please send prayers her way.
I have no information as of yet.

Thanks friends.

Latrine Duty And The Private Gets To Dig It

1.Latrines are so constructed to prevent the contamination of food and water. They are located at least 100 yards (90 meters) downwind (prevailing wind) and down gradient from the unit food service facility and at least 100 feet (30 meters) from any unit ground water source. They should never be placed above gradient of the unit food service facility. For further protection, latrines are not dug to the ground water level or in places where pit contents may drain into the water source. Usually they are built at least 30 yards (30 meters) from the border of the unit area but within a reasonable distance for easy access. A drainage ditch is dug around the edges of the latrine enclosure to keep out rainwater and other surface water. A handwashing device is installed outside each latrine enclosure; these devices should be easy to operate and kept full of water. Each individual must wash his hands after he uses the latrine.
2.When a latrine is filled to within 1 foot (30 centimeters) of the ground surface or when it is to be abandoned, it is closed in the following manner. The pit is filled to the ground surface in 3-inch (8-centimeter) layers; each layer is compacted. This is to prevent fly pupae from hatching and gaining access to the open air. Dirt is then compacted over the pit to form a mound at least 1-foot (30-centimeters) high. A sign is posted with the date and the words �closed latrine,� if the tactical situation permits.

The most important job in the Military is digging a latrine, more important than Strategic and Logistic M.O.S.'s!
The most important man in the field is the lowly private, no one makes a move until his job is done!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.
my 3 words are.......
Very Very Bored

And as always, thanks for listening!

A Few Things That You Hear At Area 51

A good Jewish drinking buddy of mine, Sholem Aleichem, once told me....
No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living even if it kills you!

Good ole George Shaw once said....
Alcohol is the Anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life!

You got to be kidding me, I freakin' won what? Barrack Obama about the Nobel Peace Prize.

You Got to be kiddin' me, I freakin' won what? John Garnett about the TAC Award.
I want to thank Father James Sullivan for the Holy Grail of Awards The TAC!

Father James, there will be a few big bills in the collection plate this Sunday for you!( My Mortgage Bill and My Visa Bill!)

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Shooting The Moon

No I'm not talking about playing cinch, when you shoot the moon and grab all the point cards.

Today NASA is shooting the moon with a rocket to kick up debris to see if there is hydrogen in it(I guess freakin' up our enviroment ain't bad enough, way to go NASA!).

I wonder what enviromental impact this will have on us?

And as always, thanks for listening!

Things I Have Learned

I have learned that life is a great teacher but unfortunately it kills all of its students!

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Baby Derrick AKA The Accomplice

My daughter came today to take me out to eat and to see My Grandson Derrick.
We went to Pizza Hut and had a great dinner and afterwards went to a Baby store to pick up a new car seat.
She found one she wanted and there was none left on the shelf for the customers but a box up on the top shelf ,so she got someone to get the box downand off to the cashier.
While everyone in line was playing cuchee coo wih the baby I took everything out of the box , there was 2 items in the box , so I figured it was the car seat and the car seat carrier .
She pays for the car seat and off we go.
As I was putting everything in the car my daughter notices that there is 2 car seats that I was stuffing in the trunk, I looked and I'll be damned, there was 2 car seats in the box, then it dawns on me that's how they ship them to the store , 2 per box so there is no wasted room or odd shaped boxes sothe truck gets full and no space is wasted.
Now my daughter asks me if we should return one, the right thing would have been yes on rerturning it but I want your opinion on this?
1 return one
2 keep both, one for each car.
3 donate one.
4 sale one on E-Bay
5 return one for store credit.

It's all up to you.
Please put your opinion in on this matter.

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Quagmire

I Bought a book on depression but it is to depressing to read!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are.......
Missing Wild Thing!

And as always, thanks for listening!

FYI

If you down load the google tool bar there is a translate button on it, when you go visit other than english blogs hit that button and it puts all the words in english so you can enjoy other language speaking peoples blogs.

And as always, thanks for listening!

Who's Your Mum?

Today is October 1st, to me it is now the 1st day of fall.
Going to buy a few Potted Mums for Debbies and my Mom & Dad's Grave today.
I always liked the red ones.
What color is your favorite Mum?

And as always, thanks for listening!

Mistakes I Made With Viagra

I accidentally dropped a viagra on the floor, my Rotti ate it.
I told my mailman about it, it made him nervous!

Last night I mistook viagra for my sleeping pills, I was up all night!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

They Told Me To Get A Hobby

Some of my family members think I should get a hobby to help beat depression ,so I'm mixing the joy of reading with a do it yourself type book.
I'm going to be working on a Doggie Doo Gun , so I can shoot the shit into the next county!
Thank You Barnes & Nobles!

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

Mindless Crap For The 500th Post!

The Game Badminton used to be called poona.

A skunk will not bite and throw it's scent at the same time.

If Jello is hooked up an eeg ( heart monitor), it registers movements virtually identical to that of the brain.

If farts had texture they 'd look like scrambled eggs.


And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

When It Rains It Pours In September

Looks Like I 'm going to take September off the Calendar, I've been in a bad way all month!
Sept.26 1995 my Dad Died in my arms.
Sept. 11 1999 Debbie's Sister was killed in a car accident.
Sept.18 2008 My Mother had passed away.
Sept. 22 2009 would have been Debbie's and My 22nd anniversary together.
Sept.24 is my 5th month off the booze,which I've been thinking about reinterducing myself to Jack Daniels!

And as always , thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write
3 words that describes what's
going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are......
I Am Back!

And as always, thanks for listening!

What Happened To My Ass?

I'd like to tell you that my ass was locked up or my ass was on vacation or even my ass was Taking a break from blogging but that ain't what happened to my ass!
It seems that my ass was doing some down loading and broke the freakin' computer since Wednesday.
The computer is semi functional now but needs to be reformatted and my antenna needs to be fixed, So on that note , Enjoy your Sunday!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes whats going on or how you feel!
My 3 words are........

Computer was down!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Dumb Ass

Keg-Crazy Car Chase at 120 MPH

Friday September 11, 2009

What's worse than leading cops on a 120-mph pursuit?

Hurling a beer keg out the window during the chase.

Police say Kevin Schleicher, 21, (pictured) chucked the keg as driver Kolton Kafka, 19 led police on the three-mile chase through Marathon County, Wisconsin this week. Police said the chase was on when they tried to pull Kafka over for a broken headlight, according to the Wausau Daily Herald.

Donkey Kong must be ticked. Hurling barrels at pursuers is his game. But at least he's not in the Weird Crime Mug Shot Hall of Shame. (Drinking Tales)

Miller Lite , Tastes Great, Less Filling!

And remember........

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes whats going on or how you feel?
My 3 words are.....

Sassy Got Groomed

And as always, thanks for listening!

Never Forget

Never Forgive And Never Forget!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Can You Feel The Love?

My love, I have tried with all my being
to grasp a form comparable to thine own,
but nothing seems worthy;

I know now why Shakespeare could not
compare his love to a summer’s day.
It would be a crime to denounce the beauty
of such a creature as thee,
to simply cast away the precision
God had placed in forging you.

Each facet of your being
whether it physical or spiritual
is an ensnarement
from which there is no release.
But I do not wish release.
I wish to stay entrapped forever.
With you for all eternity.
Our hearts, always as one.

- Anthony Kolos

My Love for you Debbie Will never die.
Darling you are in my heart and soul.
It's been a month now since you left this
earth to become an angel in heaven, I'll
will never lose the love we had for each
other,darling I'll be yours forever.

A Sunday Wish For You

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
And may your song always be sung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes whats going on or how you feel.
my 3 words are.........
COPD acting up!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Adapt & Overcome

It's My fault that I don't pay attention to things when I'm suppose to.
How many of you ran out of bath soap or Bath wash and jumped in the shower then realized it was gone?
Well this happened to me today but I adapted and over came the problem.
I used Sergeant's Medicated Dog Shampoo,well at least I won't be chewing my ass for a few days!

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

They Are Starting Young

My friend just called and he was very upset, he was mumbling something about sex.
I told him to calm down, he said he could not calm down that he just caught his 13 year old daughter having sex with her 14 year old boy friend.
I told him that kids start young these days, hell they even have birth control pills shaped like Fred Flintstone.
That got him yammering some more, so I threw more fuel on the fire and told him I can't wait to see her year book, the part that says most likely, yep hers will read Most Likely To Conceive!
Well, I think he just had a hemorrhage!

And remember......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

Ugly

I use to know a girl that was to damn ugly to work,so she went to work for herself by curing sex offenders in the State Pen.

And remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

The Past Few Days

I'm sorry I have not been on here the past few days, trying to keep my mind occupied by playing games online doing house work and talking to myself.
It seems these pills ain't worth a shit,it seems I'm more depressed now then I ever was, I'll talk to the doctor about this.
Sassy, my beloved Little Girl is coming around now,she is now going outside to chase the mailman once more.
For myself, I'll never be the same, life pretty much sucks now.
I want to thank my friend Betty in Ca.
She sent me a book that deals in the sorrow I'm Going through.
The Book: Hope For Hurting Hearts By Greg Laurie.
I'm a slow reader, I'm on page 28 of 136 pages, I read a few pages a day this is so I don't get bored and plus it gives me something to do in between my every day rituals.
Thanks Again Betty for the book it is greatly appreciated .
Sent for money out of my Ira to pay for My Debbie's Burial, well it has to happen, I've been sitting in this house for 5 Freakin' Days waiting for the check , so it figures they can't find the house, way to go FEDX!
Tomorrow it'll be here by 9:30 Am , so I'll be out there at the curb by 7:30 with a jug of coffee waiting for them to deliver it!
Well good people, That's it for Today!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Call On Me

Call On Me lyrics
Well, baby, when times are bad,
Now call on me, darling, and I’ll come to you.
When you’re in trouble and feel so sad,
Well, call on me, darling, come on call on me, and I’ll help you.
Yeah!

A man and a woman have each other, baby,
To find their way in this world.
I need you, darling, like the fish needs the sea,
Don’t take your sweet, your sweet love from me.

Baby, when you’re down and feel so blue,
Well, no, you won’t drown, darling, I’ll be there too.
You’re not alone, I’m there too,
Whatever your troubles, honey, I don’t care.

A man and a woman have each other, baby,
To find their way in this world.
I need you, darling, like the fish needs the sea,
Don’t take your sweet, sweet love from me!

Please! So baby, when times are bad,
Call on me, darling, just call on me.

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes whats going on or how you feel.
My3 words are...........
Bills are coming.

And as always,thanks for listening!

Can You Feel The Love?

Let me not to the marriage of true
minds.
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration
finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never
shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring
bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his
height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy
lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass
come;
Love alters not with his brief hours
and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of
doom:

If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Sonnet 116 William Shakespeare

From time to time I have joked with
you all about how my Debbie would
have quick come backs on Can you
feel the love,I guess you now
know that Can You Feel The Love will
be replace with love poems of my Love
for her or our love together.
Please friends bare with me for I'm
trying my best not to be depressed
and will be tryingto make my journal
fun once more.

And as always,thanks for listening!

Not Every Ass Is The Same

regular ass
(_!_)

fat ass
(__!__)

tight ass
(!)

flat ass
(_._)

bubble ass
(_^_)

sore ass
(_*_)

lop-sided ass
(_!__)

swishy ass
{_!_}

surprised ass
(_o_)

ass that's been around
(_O_)

kiss my ass
(_x_)

leave my ass alone
(_X_)

tired ass
(_zzz_)

wise ass
(_o^o_)

unlucky ass
(_13_)

money out the ass
(_$_)

dumb ass
(_?_)

And remember.......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

Guess What?

Guess who is certifiable now?
Me that's who!
I've joined the ranks of many, I'm taking 10mg's of Fluoxetine, Thats prozac people.
Well hopefully I'll regain some of my sanity back, well I guess there is no choice in the matter, it's sink or swim!

And as always, thanks for listening!

On Sunday's Happenings

My daughter brought my little Derrick (A.K.A. Jimmy) down yesterday, the boy is quit the pisser, no really, this boy pisses every half hour.
We went to Haystacks, I had chicken fried steak, mash potatoes/w country gravy and coleslaw, my daughter had some type of chicken club with bbq sauce and fries .
The meal was excellent and a great time out with my daughter and my lil Derrick.
Hopefully we can do this more often if time and money allows us.
Went to the docs today (they were closed Saturday) she prescribed antidepressants so I can cope a little better , then a trip to the hospital for some tests before the end of next month.
Also went to my Aunt Marion & Uncle Ray's house for tea and a bullshit session which was very comforting to me.
Hopefully when these pills kick in I'll be in a little better state of mind.
Well folks that's it for now.

And as always, thanks for listening!

Sunday Happenings

My darling daughter is taking me to Haystacks Today for a Sunday meal with my Grandson.
Hopefully spending more time with them will ease some mental pain today!

And as always,thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes whats going on or how you feel.
my 3 words are......
Ordering medicines today.

And as always, thanks for listening!

Thank You's And Other Things

My sincerest graditude and Many thank you's go out to Linda In Wa. and Joann in Ca. for their lovely sympathy cards that warmed my heart. Thank you so much Ladies!
I've been worried about the hospital bills for nothing, the mother in law called and said that they are getting taken care of that all I got to do is find is my Debbie's birth certificate, social security card and picture ID,
Thanks Ma!
And many thanks to all of you out there for your prayers for Debbie & I and warm wishes, God Bless All Of You Dear Friends!
And as always,thanks for listening!

My Never By Blue October

Lyrics | Blue October lyrics

When It Rains It Pours

Last month my computer went down, well more then down, the motherboard is fried and I still owe $300.00 on it.
I owe about $1300.00 for my doctor bills plus $8000.00 for Debbie's burial, now her doctor bills are coming in plus her hospital bill, so far for her around $23,000.00, if my math adds up right that comes to $32,600.00.
Now where in the hell am I suppose to get this dough?
I barely have enough to bury her.
I'm barley hanging in there with just the regular bills!
What's next?
Bring it on !

And as always , thanks for listening!

MRE'S Are They Good?

Are MRE'S good?
Back in the 80's they were made by the Ralston Purina Co.
And everything the government bids out it is made by the lowest bidder!
They have a shelf life of ten years if they don't freeze!

The first Mre's I had were Dehydrated bland cardboard tasting pucks you had to add water to, they were alright if you were hungry and one step on the food chain above bugs!
But over the years they got better and put together by different plants in the USA.
Hell I remember eating stir fry before I got out!
Mre's Are high in calories for the fighting man to burn, but can make you constipated due to lack of fiber content.
If I remember right, I think they have veggie mres for the guys that don't eat meat and also kosher for those that need it.
Later on in the years they add a heater you just added water to, it heated up your food nicely on a cold day.
The soul purpose for a mre is for the soldier on the move, he can carry his food with him, his fast food, Meals Ready to Eat AkA. MRE'S.

And as always,thanks for listening!

What's For Dinner?

Man can not live on Frozen food Alone!

And as always,Thanks for listening!

Emptiness And Pain

I can think of younger days when living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do.
I could never see tomorrow, but I was never told about the sorrow.

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.

I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow, noone said a word about the sorrow.

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.

Debbie when you left me you unknowingly took my heart with you and rightly so because it belonged to you.
I can never love another and there is no mending this broken heart of mine.
My heart will always be broken until I'm in your loving arms again my darling.
Debbie I love you so much doll , you were my everything, my heart and soul.
Love always
John

She Did It All

Well folks I'm not adjusting to well ,my Debbie did a lot around here.
It takes me all freakin' day what she did in a few hours.
Getting animal smells out of the house is a main issue for me due to copd , Debbie made sure that It was gone if one of the animals had an accident or came in wet.
Cleaning chemicals kill me, I don't know what to use for what, when I was out doing errands on her day off she'd clean and air out the fumes.
Cooking is another issue, I know how to cook but can't cook for one , it seems like a waste of food because I won't eat the same stuff 5 days in a row and I'm not ready to cook a weeks worth of meals in one day.
Putting socks on is a chore, can't lift my right leg to do it.
Making the bed is a freakin' all day chore for me.
Simple stuff is work for me, cutting my lawn forget about it!
Sweeping is ok but using a dust pan just don't happen.
She took care of it all here , I guess I'll have to sit and think awhile to see if I can make things easier for me.
I guess I have to deploy my military thinking to over come most of the chores but I don't think A hose and a leaf blower are the right tools for now.

And as always, thanks for listening!

It's Been One Week

My Debbie has been gone for a week now , she comes to me in my dreams.
I awake happy then reality sets in, I'm lonely,Sassy is lonely but we manage to get thru the days.
On the tats, I want to get both but the rose and rosary will be first.
Tomorrow ,if I can manage , I'm going to her grave for a good cry.
Tomorrow , I'm also getting my American Legion card so I can be around people it'll get me thru this, no drinking just to play pool and converse.
I loved her so much, more then life itself,she was my goddess!
Thank you so much for your support and warm comments friends it helps.

And as always, thanks for listening!