Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Definitely A Bad Day

Woke up this A.m. to rain, looked at the alarm clock and it did not go off.
Shuffled off to take a shower for a Drs. Appointment, slid thru cat puke and smashed my head off the bathroom door.
Got dried off made a cup of tea ,grabbed what I thought was my blood pressure pills, it ended up to be my viagra , after an hour went by I was walking around with a flag pole in my shorts and Debbie was snoring, when I woke her up she laughed and said she had a head ache.
Called up the Dr.'s office to reschedule for a later appointment, the nurse said that they misplaced my files and need a list of meds that I was on and needed a copy faxed to them, well they're shit out of luck because I misplaced my Spanish To english translator!
The only way this day can be any worst is if the dog took a shit in my......
Never Mind, I'm going to take some Happy Campers and hit the hay early!

And remember.......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Warning!

Debbie gave me a stern warning last night,no more dead M.J. jokes or she'll leave me!
So here it goes........
What was Micheal Jackson's Last Greatest Hit?




The Floor!

Poor M.J.

His addiction to pills was enormous.......

He Just couldn't "Beat It!"

5 Minutes after M.J. Died Casper The Friendly Ghost was raped!

And the biggest M.J joke of all is.......

Jesse Jackson!



And Remember.......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes whats going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are.........
Karma is Good
(M J Got what he deserved, Screw that child molester!)

And as always, thanks for listening!

Friday, June 26, 2009

In Honor Of M J

In Honor Of Micheal Jackson, Play School Toys has made a Micheal Jackson Mr. Potato Head but they've been all recalled, the noses keep falling off!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

News Flash

Just in from the morgue, Funeral Director does not know what to do with Micheal Jackson's Body?
Plastic recycling does not go out to the curb until next Thursday!

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

I Don't Give A ........


About a child molester!


And as always, thanks for listening!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Attention Peeps : Need A Lot Of Prayers

A friend of mine, Tabatha from Is It The Weekend Yet , her husband is in critical condition in the hospital with pancreatitis she needs all of us to give up some prayers her way for her husband Dave.
So please in her and her husbands time of need please pray.

And as always, thanks for listening!

http://tabathamax.blogspot.com/



Monday, June 22, 2009

I'm Rich, I'm Rich, No I Did Not Change My Name

I'm Rich , I tell you, I'm rich!
Along lost relative living in The U.K. left me , Now Count Them, $11,000,000.00 Smackaroonies , all that I have to do is send my area code and number and my fax number and e-mail this with some proof of who I am to a very private e-mail address in the U.K.
Yahoo, I'm rich!
If it weren't for spam mail I die a very bored man!

And remember.......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

The Love Before Debbie

I use to date a Girl that was a 2 1/2 foot tall midget before I met my Debbie.
I was nuts over that girl!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Happy Father's Day Dad

This was one of my Dad 's favorite songs
Happy Father's Day Dad



And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

My Goal In Life

I only have one goal in life, sort of a life dream of mine, I want to drive a taxi cab in Pakistan !

And remember.......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes how you feel or what's going on.
My 3 words are.....
Watching Comedy Channel!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Friday, June 19, 2009

When Ya Break It Ya Bought It

Well it looks like I freakin' messed things up good!

Sorry folks It'll Take all Weekend to straighten my blog up , bare with me please.

And as always ,thanks for listening!

Not Sexy

I'm not sexy anymore, just this morning whilst changing my underwear, I heard the Fruit -O- The Loom guys laughing at me!


And remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Font Size Is Stuck

this is the largest font size I have is anyone having the same problem?

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Something To Ponder

Without Geography we'd be nowhere!

And remember......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Hey Girl Your Panties Makes My Ass Look Fat

Man accused of stealing 88 panties from neighbor
AP
posted: 2 HOURS 16 MINUTES AGO
SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico -Puerto Rico police said they have arrested a man accused of snatching 88 pieces of underwear from a neighbor's clothesline. The man was charged with theft and illegal appropriation. Police said Wednesday that he returned all $1,000 worth of underwear to the woman.
They said he stole the items from his 29-year-old neighbor over a period of several months in the rural town of Orocovis. She apparently had to keep buying more to replace those that vanished from her line.
He was jailed Tuesday pending a $20,000 bond.

If you have to have a hobbie,this be the one!

And remember.........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Water Every Where Nothing To Drink

Ok Bucky, stick a fork in me I'm done!

It's been raining for about 5 days now with those not so scattered showers.

Rain up until Thursday, I'm freakin' sprouting feathers!
Speaking Of water, Debbie's water broke!
Back that up sparky, you mean her water gain in her legs and feet has been diminishing?
Yeah What he said!
I've been giving her Parsley tea with lemon and honey,which makes the kidneys work harder.
She gets a cup a day for ten days, off for five then back to ten or until she passes all the fluid.
Boy she's a pisser, I mean A good sport for trying these different teas!
Next up for old faithful is cabbage soup that ought to do it!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Diets

Everybody on the net is always looking to loose weight, they actually have journals on the pluses and minuses of dieting.
Hell back in the 70's and 80's they were using cocaine to lose weight and it works but the minus of that weight loss diet was death in some cases.
I knew a guy that loss so much weight on the cocaine diet that he fell through his own asshole and hung himself!

And Remember......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And As always, thanks for listening!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes whats going on or how you feel.

My 3 words are............
Loving Other Blog!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Think Before You Speak

'99 I damn near died and was put on the vent ,I was on it for 24 hours almost did not make it.
2 hours after being off the vent my pastor comes in and asks How I'm Doing?
How am I doing, How AM I DOING?
Padre I got a Pipe in my pecker and in a few moments they are going to stick a hose up my ass, by the way do you got a freakin' prayer for that!
And How is your day Padre?
How am I doing he asks.

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

New Commercial

They have a new Preparation H commercial out That I'm Itching To SEE.

And remember........

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always, Thanks for listening!

Last Sibling Standing

My Uncle Frank was at his doctors today to see if his cancer is operable.

And as always, thanks for listening!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Last Sibling Standing Part 2

I did a post back in March on the Last sibling standing, http://garnett109.blogspot.com/2009/03/last-sibling-standing.html , about my Great Uncle Frank.
Back in April he was not feeling well he went to the ER , they realized he needed emergency heart surgery, they fixed him up alright and was doing fine.
Today I get a Call from my Aunt Marion that Uncle Frank Now has colon cancer and that's all she found out and reported to me.
When It rains it pours in my Family.
Until tomorrow I'll update on Uncle Frank when I call him personally to find out whats going on.

And as always,thanks for listening!

Going Back To Drinking

Just to be on the safe side I'm going back on the bottle!

And remember.....

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Kids Are Spoiled

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!
If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!! !
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tearsWith their tedious diatribes about how hard things were.
When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning
Uphill... barefoot...
BOTH ways Yadda, yadda, yadda......And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,There was no way in hell I was going to lay
A bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it
And how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of Thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You've got it so easy!
I mean, compared to myChildhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today youDon't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet.
If we wanted to know something, We had to go to the damn library andLook it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!
There was no email!!
We had to actually writeSomebody a letter, with a pen!

Then you had to walk all the way across the street
and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3' s or Napsters!
You wanted to Steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting!
If youWere on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!
If the phone rang, you had no idea who it was!
It could be your school,Your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, youJust didn't know!!!
You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videoGames with high-resolution 3-D graphics!
We had the Atari 2600!
With gamesLike 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'.
Your guy was a little square!
You Actually had to use your Imagination! !
And there were no multiple levels orScreens, it was just one screenForever!
And you could never win.
The game just kept gettingHarder and harder andFaster and faster until you died!
Just like LIFE!
You had to use a Little book called a TV Guide to find out what was On!
You were screwed when it Came to channel surfing!
You had to get offYour ass and walk over to the TV to change the Channel and there was no Cartoon Network either!
You could only get cartoonsOn Saturday Morning. Do you Hear what I'm saying!?!
We had to wait ALL WEEKFor cartoons, you spoiledLittle rat-bastards!And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heatSomething up we had to use the stove ... Imagine that!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kidsToday have got it too easy.
You're spoiled.
You guys wouldn't have lastedFive minutes back in 1980!
Regards,The over 30 Crowd

And remember.......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Stubborn

Debbie is making my green eyes blue.
She refused to go to the Er this Morning and wants to wait till my check up on Saturday.
Her pulse is 98/56, she is not tired, no blood in urine or stool, not vomiting, just pain in her lower belly and edema of the calves and ankles,I hoping it's just menopausal.
I guess being with me for 22 years made her stubborn as hell!

And as always,thanks for listening!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Prayers Needed Please

Please pray for My Debbie, since her fall in April , the last two weeks have been putting a beating on her, taking her to the docs tomorrow, she is retaining fluid and she is in pain, we don't know if it is menopausal or if she damaged an organ.
Yeah I know she should have gone sooner but she is hard headed like me.
Please friends , Pray for my Debbie.
Thank you!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are....
Damp in Pennsylvania

And as always, thanks for listening!

Health Insurance

Health Insurance is so freakin' high, the only health insurance Debbie and I can afford is Kinoki Pads!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Taking A Break To Post Music

I'm going to take a little break from My Brain Is In Pain Again so I can post Youtube Music Videos @ http://jumpingjohnnyg.blogspot.com
I had an Aol music journal and lost it on the move,I enjoy it, it keeps me busy and sane!
Hope it will please you as it pleases me!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Baby It's A Jungle Out There

She Can Cook

Debbie has been taking cooking lessons since her layoff.
Just last night we had an magnificent meal that she made.
I had complemented on a job well done,everything was great, roast beef, mashed potatoes, gravy, buns and that salad , the salad was to die for!
She looked at me puzzled,"What Salad?"
"John you ass, That was the center piece!"

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!