Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Years Resolution

Wishing you all A Very Happy And Prosperous New Years.

My New Years Eve Resolution is to beat the Reaper!
You don't beat the reaper by living long , you beat the reaper by living well!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

In With The New


Debbie's Mom A.K.A. the Boss just got one of these shitake dogs or was it shite poos ,oh hell one of those living feather dusters that yip when you kick it!
So tomorrow I'll go over and antagonise it to see what it does so I can name it!
So far I'm going with Speed Bump!
And remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Can You Feel The Love?

I told Debbie today that I no longer need her here, that I talk to alot of girls and they want my body!
Her freakin' reply was" John Clean your ears out, the girls that call you are nurses that work for a Lab that wants your body For scientific Research!"
can you feel the love here?

And remember..............
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Then She Smacked Me

I use to give Debbie some romantic one liners years ago.
Here is one of those oh so romantic one liners!

I said" Debbie, I got a pokemon in my pants and it wants a picachu!"
Then I got Smacked!

And remember.........

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Your Fat Ass Can Power Your Vehicle

For a time, Beverly Hills doctor Craig Alan Bittner turned the fat he removed from patients into biodiesel that fueled his Ford SUV and his girlfriend's Lincoln Navigator.
Love handles can power a car? Frighteningly, yes. Fat--whether animal or vegetable--contains triglycerides that can be extracted and turned into diesel. Poultry companies such as Tyson are looking into powering their trucks on chicken schmaltz, and biofuel start-ups such as Nova Biosource are mixing beef tallow and pig lard with more palatable sources such as soybean oil. Mike Shook of Agri Process Innovations, a builder of biodiesel plants, says this year's batch of U.S. biodiesel was likely more than half animal-derived since the price of soybeans soared.
A gallon of grease will get you about a gallon of fuel, and drivers can get about the same amount of mileage from fat fuel as they do from regular diesel, according to Jenna Higgins of the National Biodiesel Board. Animal fats need to undergo an additional step to get rid of free fatty acids not present in vegetable oils, but otherwise, there's no difference, she says.
Greenies like the fact that waste, such as coffee grounds and french-fry grease, can be turned into power. "The vast majority of my patients request that I use their fat for fuel--and I have more fat than I can use," Bittner wrote on lipodiesel.com. "Not only do they get to lose their love handles or chubby belly but they get to take part in saving the Earth." Bittner's lipodiesel Web site is no longer online.
Using fat to fuel cars might be environmentally friendly, but it's definitely illegal in California to use human medical waste to power vehicles, and Bittner is being investigated by the state's public health department.
Although it's unclear when Bittner started and stopped making fat fuel or how he made it, his activities came to light after recent lawsuits filed by patients that allege he allowed his assistant and his girlfriend to perform surgeries without a medical license.
2008-12-23 08:52:03

I can see it now,instead of carbon filled clouds it will be replaced by cellulite and the rain will taste a little oily!
Between mine and Debbies asses we got enough fuel fo a year!

And remember........

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Friday, December 26, 2008

It's Almost New Years Eve

December 31st. Is always a fun time for the beginners, you know the assholes in training , those guys that go out only on New Year's Eve and try to make up for the rest of the year.
Oh how I love this night, people puking all over the place before mid night, the fist fights at 9 pm, somebody's ole lady trying to hump some young man in the corner of the bar thinking her ole man went home.
Yes, I've seen it all in the bars!
Many times I've broken up the fights , mopped up the blood , sat in jail over night because of a floosie or some asshole that he thought he was a frog and wanted to leap!
Yep been there done that, the toughest drunks that go out is usaully some pissed off broad trying to get even with her ole man or a friend that did her wrong!
Nothing worst than a woman's scorn.
Debbie and I stay home now because of shit heads, hell at 46 I'm in bed by 9pm.
Johnny G's safety guide to survival, if you leave your drink to go pee get a new one, it could be drugged, never drink more than you can handle, never trust someone you just met,hep c runs rampant don't stick your tongue down someone throat at mid night that you just met!
Finally Don't Drink and drive Johnny Law is watching!
Ps Wear your rubbers it's winter you feet might get wet!

And Remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas Blogville

Peace To All
Merry Christmas & A Very Happy New Year to all my friends out there in Blogville!
It seems we have another year down and new one begining soon!
Thanks for the Great Year My Friends , hopefully 2009 will be alot better for all of us, hopefully.

It seems that every year I get the same old stuff, 3 white shirts and a peice of ass and damn it they are all a size to big!

Merry Christmas!

And remember.......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas In Heaven Mom

`Nollaig Shona Duit!
And As Always, thanks for listening!

The Christmas Card That Never Was

You know what you do when you receive a Christmas Card, you tape it to the frame of a door way in your living room to show off and brag to people about how many friends and relatives actually thought about you on this Christmas Season.

What about the Christmas Card That Never Was?
Well you tape that one also!
The Christmas Card That Never Was? Is Johnny G. Losing it?

Let me explain.....
Neither rain nor sleet nor snow the mail always gets thru weather you get it or not.........

Got a Christmas card from my Aunt yesterday, well sort of, I got the front part of the envelope in a plastic bag with apologies and condolences from the Post Master that the rest of it was destroyed in the sorter at the Post Office.
So there you have it the Christmas Card that never was and it is hanging with the rest of the beautiful cards that were.

And remember......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A Spidy Man Christmas


My neighbors littlest boy loves Spider Man, so why we were out today we picked him up a Spider Man Hypersonic Jet.
For his B-Day in Oct. we had bought him a Spider Man Car.
For Halloween he was dressed as Spider Man, like I said he loves Spider Man.
His older brother loves money, this kid will work in my yard every two weeks and i'll give him $20 when he is done, then he hides it like a squirrel with nuts.
So for Christmas I'll give him $20 in a card.
Their parents are great people that raised 2 great kids.
And as always, thanks for listening!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Time Heals All Wounds So They Say






They say that time heals all wounds, I guess I need some time, It took over 11 years for the pain to ease after my Father had passed and now with the passing of my Mother, it looks like it going to be along time before I can once again enjoy the holidays and to ease this pain that I carry in my heart!
My Father died in my arms September 26 1995.
My Mother Died in my arms September 18 2008.
I just don't have that kind of time anymore to ease this pain,so Please forgive me if I'm not Joyous over this Christmas season.
My Debbie has been a rock through all of these years and without her , who knows what would've become of me through out these trying times!
God Bless you all during this Christmas Season!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Our Song

Baby I see this world has made you sad Some people can be bad The things they do, the things they say But baby I'll wipe away those bitter tears I'll chase away those restless fears That turn your blue skies into grey Why worry, there should be laughter after the pain There should be sunshine after rain These things have always been the same So why worry now Baby when I get down I turn to you And you make sense of what I do I know it isn't hard to say But baby just when this world seems mean and cold Our love comes shining red and gold And all the rest is by the way Why worry, there should be laughter after pain There should be sunsh ine after rain These things have always been the same So why worry now


Doll we've been through it all!
The Greatest Love of my life is You!
Why Worry?

Things That Amaze Me

If Russia attacked Turkey from the rear, do you think Greece would help?

And remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes how you feel or what's going on.
My 3 words are........
Debbie Is Shoveling!

And as always , thanks for listening!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Yep You Guest It I Got My Ass Whooped Again!

Christmas of "72" I was 10 years old, that Christmas was a great one I got a B-B Gun, it was Remmington lever action , it looked like a real 30-30 and the B-B 's loaded on the side just like the 30 -30.

No I did not shoot my eye out nor anyone elses!

I took my B-B gun out back and lined up soda cans and started to knock them down one by one then it happened, a bunch of squirrels were up in the tree making noise , now the hunt was on!

I took aim at one, pulled the tigger and shot out a neighbors bay window up on the hill !

They came down screaming, the gun was taking from me for a month and you guest it, I got my Ass whooped again!

And remember .........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Did I Mention Getting My Ass Whooped On Christmas?


I remember the time I received this little gift under the Christmas tree, I think I was 6 at the time, My cousin Joe got the 6 shooters and I got the stinking Tinker Toys.
I talked Joe into playing cowboys & Indians He had his 6 shooters and Me as The Indian I got a heavy rubber band and made a bow and arrows with the tinker toys and shot him in the head with it.
Needless to say I Got my ass whooped again On Christmas day!
And remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Silent Night

It's A Slinky

I was around 5 and my cousin Joe was 4 when we got our first slinkies on Christmas Day at My Grand Mothers house, we would take them upstairs and race them down a big stairwell and mine would always would finish first.

We had one more race and instead of Joe's slinky going down the steps he had pushed me down them instead, I hit every freakin' one of those steps!

I think Joe was a poor sport on losing but I got even, when he was a sleep I took his slinky and tied him up to the bed with it.

Needless to say I got my ass whooped again,come to think of it I had alot of ass whoopings on Christmas!

And remember...........

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always thanks for listening!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Old Sparky

I remember back in 1970 that these aluminium trees were all the rage.
My mom and dad bought one just to be in the hip crowd.
My dad had a tendency to over do things at Christmas especially with the electric lights.
I remember getting my dad a few beers as he was putting the lights on the tree, my hands a little damp from the dew on the cans and dad saying go ahead son plug "er" in!

Thats how that tree got its name of Old Sparky, sparks was a shooting every where and a few shot out my ass!

As I soon learned aluminium and electricity and damp hands don't mix!

I think dad donated that tree to the State Pen as a replacement for the chair!

And remember..........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what is going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are........
Up very early!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Friday, December 12, 2008

God Bless Your Soul Kaylee


Well it looks like they found the body of Lil Kaylee Anthony , duct taped and stuffed in a garbage bag thrown in a bog a half mile from her home.
How can A mother do this to her own child( if she did do it) ?
Who ever did this to this little angel should die a slow but very painful death!
God Bless You Lil Kaylee!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I Wander This World II

I Wander This World is A Blues song sung By Johnny Lang.
Some times I think this song is a part of me.

Trust me good people if I could write like this I'd be a song writer making money!
http://video.aol.com/video/jonny-lang-sessionsaol-wander-this-world/1120128/?icid=VIDURVMUS02

And as always thanks for listening!



Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I Wander This World

The tar in the street starts to melt from the heatAnd the sweats runnin' down from my hairI walked 20 miles and I'm dragging my feetAnd I'll walk 20 more I don't careAnd I'll wander this world, wander this worldWander this world, wander this world all aloneI'm like a ghost some people can't seeOthers drive by and stareA shadow that drifts by the side of the roadIt's like I'm not even thereAnd I'll wander this world, wander this worldWander this world, wander this world all aloneWell I've never been part of the gameThe life that I live is my ownAll that I know is that I was bornTo wander this world all alone, all aloneSome people are born with their lives all laid outAnd all their success is assuredSome people work hard all their lives for nothin'They take it and don't say a wordThey don't say a wordSometimes it's like I don't even existEven God has lost track of my soulWhy else would he leave me out here like thisTo wander this world all aloneAnd I'll wander this world, wander this worldWander this world, wander this world all alone

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Baby It's Cold Out Side

I'm Dreaming of a Tropical Island Christmas but all I'll be getting Is a cold Goose Island New Years !

Why in the hell did my fore family stay in a freakin' cold state is beyond me, I mean come on go south young man there ain't nothing but coal up in thar these hills and when it's gone who's paying the bills?

I Guess it's in Our Dna 'cause I gave up a great chance to stay in Georgia in 1980 in the army, yep Fort Gordan Georgia but no I came back to this winter wonderland because of family and friends!

My friend down South ,yeah you know who you are, Missie is living it up in a much warmer climate.
I think the southern part of Pa. has to be at least 3 degrees warmer down there! Lmao!

Well kiddos Debbie has off tomorrow and we are heading to bed to make wild passionate friction between the sheets to keep warm.
No sex involved we fight over the covers you dirty minded people!

And remember.......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Remember Pearl Harbor


Today is the 67th Anniversary of the Bombing of Pearl Harbor.
The above picture is the burning and sinking of The U.S.S. Arizona.
Alot of Airmen and Navalmen died on this infamous Day!
God Bless All of them.
Leaving a link for more pictures of Pearl Harbor Attack.
And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel .

My 3 words are........

Transmission is slipping!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Salute!


75 years ago today congress ended Prohibition, for me this is a very special day!


I'm actually holding back tears of joy as I hoist a glass of Jimmy Beam & Coke and saluting congress for a job well done!


Here's to Area 51 and all it's members including the Founder Father James............


May your glass never run dry and your mind be free of Hangovers!


Salute!


Johnny G. is a Proud Sponsor Of Jim Beam!



And Remember........


Laissez les bon temps rouler!


And as always, thanks for listening!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly


Opps Wrong Boughs! That's more like it!
Either way , Have yourself a very Merry Christmas!


And Remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The Dung Twig Aka Mistletoe


Mistle meaning dung and toe meaning twig!
Did you know that Mistletoe aids in the fight of certain cancers?
It is also used in the fight against Aids!
It can be very deadly to cats, so Possum you better stay away from this,this ain't no cat nip!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Taking Time Out To Say Good Bye

My dear friend it is never good bye but till we meet again.
Doc, you my Sir were a good friend and to everybody that had the privilege to meet you would know how great of a friend you were.
As I raise this glass in a toast to you Doc, may you be in heaven 3days before the devil knows your gone!
Semper Fi!
Salute!
En Avant!
Forward Soldier!
Drive On!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Another Tasty Treat

Another oh so tasty treat that we all love and enjoy on Christmas Eve.

You'd find them in your stocking and a few on the tree that have been there for about a week before you can crunch down on those Delicious Balls Of Corn , that's if Mommy did not spray it with pine scent!

Don't worry about spoilage these Delightful treats sit in warehouses for 6 months and about 2 1/2 months on the store shelves and they're low fat too!

Now go out and buy a box to bring back old traditions!

And remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

PS. All above is sarcasm!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Oh, How I Love Fruitcake



Fruitcake (or fruit cake) is a cake made with chopped candied fruit and/or dried fruit, nuts and spices, and optionally soaked in spirits. In the United Kingdom certain rich versions may be iced and decorated. Fruitcakes are often served in the celebration of weddings and Christmas.
Fruitcake: Made with all the crumbs and garbage that hit the floor all yearlong made into a cake to give to your Favorite Family members that you love so much just to piss them off on Christmas!
There are actual places in the U.S.A. that pay people to make this all so tasty treat for your fine dining on Christmas!
Oh the Joy to receive one of these Tasty treats on Christmas!
And Remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!
PS. All of the above was sarcasm

Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Dumb Ass Award Goes To........

Ohio Police Chief Accidentally Shoots Self
AP

MONROE, Ohio (Nov. 29) - Police in southwestern Ohio say a police chief mistakenly shot himself in the thigh after giving his daughter a gun safety lesson.
A police report says 54-year-old Middletown police Chief Greg Schwarber was preparing to clean his Glock .45-caliber pistol on Friday and didn't realize the gun was still loaded.
The report written by officers from neighboring Monroe says the bullet entered Schwarber's leg just above the knee.
When officers arrived, they found the chief lying on the floor with a towel covering his leg. Schwarber was taken to a hospital for treatment.
The hospital had no record of Schwarber being treated or admitted. A home phone number for him couldn't be found.

No smart ass comments to this one,it speaks for itself!

And remember.........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!


Saturday, November 29, 2008

Happy Birthday In Heaven Twiggy

Happy B-Day Mom In Heaven.

We miss you alot.

Say hi to pop , mary , dad, brenda, grams, uncle ted, aunt cathy and all our friends!

With love , Your son

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes how you feel or what's going on.

My 3 words are........

I smell funky!

And remember...........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Friday, November 28, 2008

A Friday Rant

Today's Rant is about 2 hour delays for schools.

Is it me or is the freakin' system gone crazy?
I mean come on what the hell is up with this freakin' 2 hour delay for kids when the weather is bad?
Is because the city can't keep the roads safe or is it the fact that the school bus dispatcher does not want to bang up his shiny school buses?
Could it be for the safety of those special little tots that get on the bus?
Well if it is for safety's sake then put some freakin' seat belts on the buses and send those rug rats to school!
Snow Days, What the hell is that?
The only time I had a freakin' snow day was when it snowed over 3feet or the school bus drivers all called in for a freakin' sick day!
If the snow was deep we shoveled to the bus stop and if the bus got stuck we pushed it over the hill and a lot of us did not have the privilege and comfort of riding the bus, we had to walk both ways up hill to and from school without boots!
I don't know but the kids today got it easy!
Thats my rant for the day , enjoy your weekend!

And remember.......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
and as always, thanks for listening!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving



In the True spirit of a Redneck Thanksgiving , I'm watching old Nascar reruns and Drinking Budweiser!


HAPPY THANKSGIVING FRIENDS!

And remember......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The True Thanksgiving

There are many Thanksgivings in history, and harvest is traditionally a time of thanks. Our celebration of the dinner between Pilgrims and Indians however has some really dark roots. There were those 3 days of feast, to celebrate a treaty giving 12,000 acres of land to the Pilgrims. The indians brought the majority of the food. The rest is just plain ugly. Edited for length, links at bottom.In 1621 the myth of thanksgiving was born. The colonists invited Massasoit, chief of the Wampanoags, to their first feast as a follow up to their recent land deal. Massasoit in turn invited 90 of his men, much to the chagrin of the colonists. Two years later the English invited a number of tribes to a feast "symbolizing eternal friendship." The English offered food and drink, and two hundred Indians dropped dead from unknown poison. The first day of thanksgiving took place in 1637 amidst the war against the Pequots. 700 men, women, and children of the Pequot tribe were gathered for their annual green corn dance on what is now Groton, Connecticut. Dutch and English mercenaries surrounded the camp and proceeded to shoot, stab, butcher and burn alive all 700 people. The next day the Massachusetts Bay Colony held a feast in celebration and the governor declared "a day of thanksgiving." In the ensuing madness of the Indian extermination, natives were scalped, burned, mutilated and sold into slavery, and a feast was held in celebration every time a successful massacre took place. The killing frenzy got so bad that even the Churches of Manhattan announced a day of "thanksgiving" to celebrate victory over the "heathen savages," and many celebrated by kicking the severed heads of Pequot people through the streets like soccer balls.The most interesting part of thanksgiving is the propaganda that has been put out surrounding it. During the 19th century thanksgiving traditions consisted of turkey and family reunions. Whenever popular art contained both pilgrims and Indians, the scene was usually characterized by violent confrontations between the two groups, not a multi-cultural/multi-racial dinner. In 1914 artist Jennie Brownscombe created the vision of thanksgiving that we see today: community, religion, racial harmony and tolerance, after her notorious painting reached wide circulation in Life magazine. On June 20, 1676 Edward Rawson was unanimously voted by the governing council of Charlestown, Massachusetts, to proclaim June 29th as the first day of thanksgiving.It was not until 1863 that Abe Lincoln, needing a wave of patriotism to hold the country together, that Thanksgiving was nationally and officially declared and set forth to this day.Adamant protests to the celebration of thanksgiving have taken place over the years. As early as 1863 Pequot Indian Minister William Apess urged "every man of color" to mourn the day of the landing, and bury Plymouth Rock in protest. In 1970 Apess got his way. 1970 was the "350th" anniversary of thanksgiving, and became the first proclaimed national day of mourning for American Indians. For the next 24 years, American Indians staged protest every thanksgiving, in 1996 the United American Indians of New England put a stop to the annual pilgrim parade and forced the marchers to turn around and head back toward the seaside (symbolism?). In 1997 the peaceful protestors were assaulted by members of the Plymouth police, the county sheriffs department, and state troopers on horseback in full riot gear. Men, women, children, and elders were beaten, pepper sprayed and gassed. Twenty-Five people were arrested; blacks, whites, latinos, Indians, and even a 67-year-old Penobscot elder were taken to jail. Videotape was later produced to confirm the assault and ensuing police brutality. Plymouth is known as "Americas Hometown."

And as always, thanks for listening!

A New Type Of Graffiti

Nebraska's 'Butt Bandit' suspect faces charges
AP
VALENTINE, Neb. -Ten misdemeanor counts have been filed against a man Cherry County authorities believe is the vandal some townspeople have dubbed the "Butt Bandit."
Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said that on Tuesday he filed nine counts of public indecency and one count of disturbing the peace against 35-year-old Tom Larvie, of Valentine. All are misdemeanors.
Larvie is suspected of leaving greasy, graphic imprints of his naked behind, and sometimes his groin, on the windows of stores, churches and schools in Valentine since the spring of 2007.
The marks were made with lotion or petroleum jelly.
Scott said Larvie was caught in the act by police early Wednesday morning.
Larvie could not be reached to comment.


I Guess he has put alittle of himself into his art work for the Love Of Valentine's.

And remember.........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A little Joke At 1:30 Am


A young newlywed couple were making love all day, they are tired and go to bed but forget to turn the light out,they argue for the very first time about who is going to shut the light out.

The husband realizes it was stupid to argue and tells his wife who ever comes up with the best rhyme the loser has to get up and shut off the light.

She agrees and goes first.


After a few minutes of thought she says "3&3 is 6 & 3 is 9 , I know the length of yours but you don't know the depth of mine!"


She thinks she won and tells her husband to go shut off the lights.


His Quick response was " Honey you are right 3&3 is 6 & 3 is 9 but I can piss in yours but you can't piss in mine!"


And remember.....

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Spending My Christmas& New Years In The Crapper


NY public toilets feature TVs, tuxedoed attendants
AP

NEW YORK -What a relief! The free public restrooms operated by the Charmin toilet paper company in Times Square during the holidays are being rolled out for another year.
It's the third straight year for the 20 deluxe stalls.
The plush potties feature flat-screen televisions, attendants dressed in tuxedos and plenty of Charmin.
The loos are so luxurious that Charmin promises Times Square tourists will feel like kings sitting on their thrones before making their royal flushes.
The toilets are being inaugurated Monday with a ceremonial first flush by pop singer and Broadway star Joey Fatone (fuh-TOHN').
They'll be open every day through the end of the year except Christmas Day. For the first time they'll be open on New Year's Eve for the crowd watching the 2009 ball drop.

And they say I'm freakin' crazy!

And remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Holiday Blues

With a drink in my hand and holiday traditions now gone here I sit gently weeping.
All my holidays started out alright but thru the times there was always something dysfunctional going on.

As far as gentle weeping goes, it is alot off my chest, blood pressure is down and my mind is calm but i sure miss Mom & Dad!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.

My 3 words are........

In pain today!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Let Them Eat Cake


My favorite priest , Father James at area 51, put me in for the Marie Antoinette award and I won , I'm sure he had our congression stuff the ballots!

Thanks Father James, there will be a $50.00 food stamp in the basket for this Sunday's service.


The award is About Real Blogs By Real People.

The Rules are that when you recieve this prestigous award you have to pass it on to 1-10 deserving people.

Then let those people know that you picked them.


Then place the tag on your side bar ,if I remember how to.
Here are my picks for the award........
This was hard to pick , you guys and gals out there are all worthy of this award but I picked The top ten big payers for this award, ok people start sending in the money!
And Remember......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Can You Feel The Love?

Last night Debbie & I were at it again over money woes, all I want her to do is think before she buys,if you don't need it don't buy it.

Her response to this was"John you penny pinching tight wad do the world a favor and pull your lower lip over your head and swallow!!!!!!!"

Can you feel the freakin' love here?

And remember.......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

My Brain Is In Pain Again

Listen Up Peeps

A friend of mine yesterday was diagnosed with a brain tumor, she said it was the size of a walnut, so please go to her blog give her good well wishes and prayers .
Her Name is Dutch.
http://myupsanddownsofeverydaylife.blogspot.com/

Thanks friends!

And as always thanks for listening!


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Dissociative Identy Disorder

Multiple personality disorder (MPD) is a psychiatric disorder characterized by having at least one "alter" personality that controls behavior. The "alters" are said to occur spontaneously and involuntarily, and function more or less independently of each other. The unity of consciousness, by which we identify our selves, is said to be absent in MPD. Another symptom of MPD is significant amnesia which can't be explained by ordinary forgetfulness. In 1994, the American Psychiatric Association's DSM-IV replaced the designation of MPD with DID: dissociative identity disorder. The label may have changed, but the list of symptoms remained essentially the same.

21 and 1/2 years ago I was going out with this chick named Ruth.
I asked a friend hows about hooking me up with this chick , she is smoking hot, he told me to leave her alone she is a freakin' wack job.

Ok , how bad can she be?

I asked her out and she said yes, I took her to a club I belonged to and we hit it off that night and for the first 2 months every thing was ok , then I noticed changes in her moods.

One night she wanted crazy monkey sex and I was more than happy to oblige.

2 days later she gives me a booty call, she picks me up and we go back to her apartment for some more wild monkey sex and as we were at it she looks me dead in the eyes and says I don't do it that way.
What?
2 days ago I had this broad swinging from the cieling fans yelling me Jane You Tarzan!

Well I thought may be it was the booze and she forgot about all the fun we had 2 days ago.

The next day I called her up and wanted to know if she wanted to go out , she asked me who I was ,I told her it was me and she hung up, I call her back and she said hello this is Nacy you have the wrong number!

What the hell is wrong with this chick?

I call my buddy up and asked what he meant by a freakin' wack job, he told me she had Multi Personalities, the first few days she is Ruth , then Nacy and finally Sally.
If she takes her meds she is stable if not they all come out at different times,Yeah no shit.

Well I thought to my self I'll deal with it and date all 3 in her head , shit this could be fun , 3 girls different days wow!

Well people don't ever do this it could be quite dangerous, while making love to ruth, nacy pops in and starts yelling and bitching at Ruth to stay away from her man and after all calmed down Sally pops out and wants a foursome with the other 2 and me.

I broke up with all 3 that night , I could not handle a foursome!

But it was fun while it lasted!

And remember.......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Why Is This Wrong?

In the State of Florida it is Illegal to have sex with a porcupine !

I wonder who the first person was that got caught?

And remember......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Can You Feel The Love?

After taking my meds and downing a few drinks I was in a lustful kind of way.
"Debbie" I said " I'm very horny tonight!"
Her freakin' reply was " John , take matters into your own hands, I'm in a Ithphallophobia kind of way!"

Can you feel the freakin' love here?

And remember.......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Disturbing Dream

I awoke at 3am shaking and screaming from a bad dream.
In my dream I was at a concert and I was trying to get back to my seat, the fans started chanting Helen, Helen , Helen, I look , there was my Grand Mother naked as a Blue Jay , swinging her Granny Pantys over her head yelling " Bobby you Polish Prince take me I'm Yours!
It was disturbing enough to see my Grand Ma trying to get laid at a concert but more disturbing to me was what in the freakin' hell was I doing at A Bobby Vinton Concert ?

And remember..........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

A Night In Bed With Debbie And I

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what is going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are......
Sleeping with dog.

And remember..........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always , thanks for listening!

Friday, November 14, 2008

I Shit You Not


Crocs and Birth Control
In 2000 BC, Egyptian physicians recommended using pessaries of crocodile dung as a spermicide. While this ancient birth control method is no doubt unavailable at your local pharmacy, you can probably ask your local crocodile to provide it under the table.



Honey is it your turn to go get the contraceptives?

Baby , you smell marvelous!


And remember.........

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I Shit You Not

Before there was Toilet Paper.......

You should thank your lucky stars you live in the twentieth century, bucko. Let me tell you about ... corncobs. You may not believe this, but it was once common practice in rural America to leave a corncob hanging from a string in the outhouse for purposes of personal hygiene. The string, I gather, was to permit the cob to be reused. For those who were punctilious in these matters, or else blessed with an abundance of corncobs, a box of disposable cobs might be provided instead. In coastal regions, the cob might be replaced by a mussel shell.
For those who had access to it, paper from discarded books or newspapers was often preferred to either of the foregoing. The meteoric growth of the Sears Roebuck company, for instance, is thought to be partly attributable to the protean nature of its catalogs, which, historians tells us, might serve a family of regular habits for an entire season. As with the cob, the catalog would be hung in the outhouse on a string and pages torn off as needed. It is said the use of coated stock, which was nonabsorbent, was a source of great consternation to farm families when Sears began printing color pictures in the catalog earlier in this century.
English lords, in attempting to teach their sons to be cultivated gentlemen, often advised purchasing an inexpensive volume of verse for use in the loo. The idea, of course, was that while you were sitting there in a contemplative state you would be able to read a few stanzas, subsequent to which the paper could be put to other ends, so to speak. It has not escaped my notice that my magnum opus, The Straight Dope: A Compendium of Human Knowledge, is also well suited for this purpose. Indeed, in the next edition we are thinking about perforating the pages, for maximum convenience.

And remember............
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

God Bless All Veterans


Thank you for serving our great nation.
God Bless you all!

And as always, thanks for listening!

E-4 John Garnett

Communication Specialist And Cannon Crewman

Btry B 1/bn 109th Fa.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

??????????????????????????????

In the depths of my mind I replay 9-14-08 and now I realize that it did not matter how fast the ambulance came, nor how much cpr we did it was just her time or was it?
I mean did I do right thing by taking her off of life support?
Did I give her a fighting chance?

My mind has been tortured for almost 2 months now and personally friends I need to kill that pain , How? I don't know yet but it ain't getting better in my head.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes how you feel or what's going on.

My 3 words are......

John is drained!

And as always,thanks for listening!

Quotes By Famous Drunks

On his death bed,Pablo Picasso's last words....

Drink to me , Drink to my health fore I can't drink anymore!

And remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Pimp Daddy Spitzer Gets Off Of Criminal Charges

Things That Amaze Me

Is it premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married?

And remember.........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Who's It? I'm It? What Do You Mean I Was Tagged?

Tag I'm it? I'll Give You I'm It!
Missy at
http://learningtoadapt.blogspot.com

Wants me to list 6 things about my self that people don't know.
I'm not going to follow the rules here and tag six people, so hang on kiddies here it goes.
#1 See Above
#2 I like peeing in the shower ( Did you know that uric acid kills foot fungus?)
#3 I know all the good places to hide the bodies ( They never found Jimmy Hoffa yet Did They?)
# 4 I have voices in my head, voices what voices, shut up I'm writting here!
#5 When Debbie Ain't looking I spice up her Cooking to make it taste better!
#6 Don't Laugh Now I know you are going to laugh!
I like planting in my garden, right Shoobie Hunter!

Well that is my little secrets now not so secret anymore!

And remember.........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!