Saturday, January 31, 2009

Into The Fire

Slip Sliding Away

Yesterday going to pick Debbie up from work, walking to the truck,I hit that patch of ice that I could not get up and the funny thing was that I felt it coming, the fall that is.
The fall was in slow motion and I was prepared for it and I landed ok at least I thought I did until this morning every bit of my left side of my body aches and my neck hurts like hell.
I wish there was a camera on me, it would have been a great commercial for " I've fallen and I can't get up!" And actually would have been not far from the trueth, with 2 total hips I just can't stand up,I had to crawl 10 feet to the fence to pull my sorry ass up out of the snow!
Going now to put Tiger Balm on this sore old body of mine!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday 3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes how you feel or whats going on.
My 3 words are...........
Fell on ice!

And as always,thanks for listening!

Friday, January 30, 2009

Going Green


Can be used in your compost pile to add to your favorite beefeater tomatoe plants!
Recycling is fun and fruitful!
And remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

And That's When She Slapped The Hell Out Of Me!

Last night I was watching Apocalypto and enjoying the movie when Debbie came in and asked what's on the T.V.,I told her dust and That's when she slapped the hell out of me!

And remember.......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Can You Feel The Love?

I like to keep well groomed for Debbie,I go to my barbers 3 times a month for haircuts and such.
Yesterday was the day and when I came home I showed Debbie and asked her how she like my haircut.
Her Reply" Nice,where did you get it done, At the pet store?"
Can you feel the freakin' love here?

And remember.........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

She's A Winner

I entered Debbie's Homemade Chicken Pot Pie in a contest and she won first place, she won $50,000 and The Chicken Pot Pie will be aired on Fear Factor!

And Remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Strive To Succeed

Johnny G. says why be the class clown when you can be the Emcee!

And remember.............
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Johnny G's Road Kill Cafe

Where eating is more fun, when it's done hit and run.
APPETIZERS: Chicken That Didn't Quite Cross the Road( Tastes Twice as Great When It's Slapped On Your Plate. )
Sunny Side Armadillo( An early sneak preview!)ENTREES, A TASTE OF THE WILD SIDE:(It's Gotta Be Tried While It's Still In It's Hide.)
Center Line Bovine ................ $6.95"Tastes real good, straight from the hood"
Chunk Of Skunk .................... $3.95"A real stinker of a meal!"
Road Toad Ala Mode ................ $5.65"Croaked for the last Time!"
Outta Luck Duck ................... $7.95"Served with Quackers of course.."
Beep Beep Sheep ................... $7.95"You'll be Back for more!"
Narrow Sparrow .................... $2.55"A light snack for those on the run!"
Rigor Mortis Tortise .............. $6.75"Breaking the shell was never so fun!"
Goose Still a bit Loose ........... $4.55
Cow Le Pow ........................ $6.59"For those who wonder, where's the Beef?"
Pig Fig ........................... $2.75"Special for Dieters."
Lamb Bam Wham ..................... $4.69"Hit on the Run."
Coarse Horse ...................... $5.70"Rough but Ready!"
Crow in a Bowl .................... $3.60"Tones your Bones!"
Pheasant under Car ................ $4.60"Oiled to perfection!"
Ram n' Ham ........................ $5.80"A Merge to Splurge!"
Side Swipe Pork ................... $6.20"Sides to catter to all appetites!"
LATE NIGHT DELIGHTS: Served fresh each night after dark.
Rack Of Racoon .................... $3.95
Smear Of Deer ..................... $4.95"Served French Fried Right After Dark"
Awesome Possum .................... $1.95
Later Gator ....................... $4.80"Midnight Snack Attack"
Rhine - o - Wine .................. $9.60"Bubbly of a different sort."
DESSERT ENTREE's: These take the cake.- Chocolate Moose ........................... $ 3.90"
A special Variation of a French Dessert"- Jello Worm ................................ $ 2.50"Watch em' Jiggle and Wiggle."
- Bat-e-Pastries ............................ $ 3.60"Winging on a delight."
- Squirrely Swirlly Coffeecake ........................... $ 4.60"Nutty delight."
- Gopher Puffs .............................. $ 3.80"FUR-fectly delicious cream puffs.
MEET OUR CHEF: "Wheels" Pierre.
Bon Appetit
Remember our Motto:"When You Drive With Your Brights...You'll Dine Better Tonight... "

And remember..........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

I'm Having A MaGoo Kind Of Day !


Sunday, January 25, 2009

Saturday, January 24, 2009

It's Time To See A Head Shrink When........

All pictures start to look like Janis Joplin !

And remember...........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Thought For Today

I'm not sure eating bean soup while having Diarrhea is a good idea or not, but we will soon see!

And remember.........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Saturday #3's Warning Warning Warning A/C

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes whats going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are.......
Carlins Last HBO

Can You Feel The Love?

Today as I was thinking of the purpose of my life,Debbie had ask what I was thinking about so I told her.
Her reply was " John , that is a easy one, your sole purpose in life is being a good example of a bad example!"
Can you feel the freakin' love here?

And remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

What Really Brought Down Flight 1549 Into the Hudson River?


Thursday, January 22, 2009

And It Didn't Take Long


Nothing

Yersterday Debbie came home from work all pissed off and started to yell at me.
She said " You lazy bum what did you do all day!?"
My reply was "Nothing Doll."
"Didn't you do that yesterday Shithead?" She stammered.
" Yes Doll But I wasn't finished!" was my reply!

And remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Realization

When I realized what I had turned out to be was a lousy,two- bit pool hustler and drunk.I was not depressed at all . I was glad to have a profession!
And remember.........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Our Gang Speaks!

Garnett and the gang says that History repeats itself , just ask these next two Presidents.





Herbert Hoover and George W. Bush put this country in Financial Death " The Great Depression And The Repeat!"







Just like Franklin D. Roosevelt with The New Deal, We Have Hope and Yes We Can Obama's New Deal for The U.S. Of A.
All I can Say is Saddle up boys and Girls It is going to be a long and Bumpy Ride!
But in the long run it's back to Square One!
And remember...........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!





Salute

Debbie is worried about my drinking,she said "John , You are drinking yourself to a slow death!"
So I told her "Debbie you are probably right but I'm not in a hurry!"
"Debbie" I said " You know I can't Die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver!"

And remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Monday, January 19, 2009

My Deepest Sympathy


My deepest Sympathy Goes out for the loss of your loved ones on the field Yesterday!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Wintery Blues



No monkeying around this weather's getting me down!
No banana daiquiris in this primate's future!
Pass the cold tabs Please!

And remember...........

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes whats going on or how you feel.

My 3 words are.............
Who is Sully?

And as always, thanks for listening!

My First Love

My first love was with a gal named Delida, she was a beautiful little girl with blond locks and she was short in stature.
She broke my heart, she left me for her job, she told me that it took her places.
I never expected that from a carnival worker!

And remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Friday, January 16, 2009

And Then She Slapped The Hell Out Of Me!

My Debbie wanted to start a new journal here on blogspot so I told her that I'd help her create one.
She wanted to do a fancy cooking blog and asked me for a cool name for the blog.
I gave her 2..........

Cooking with Mystery Meats 101
Antidotes With Every Meal

And thats when she slapped the hell out of me!

And remember.........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Listen Up Peeps

Listen up peeps, Johnny G. wants you to go to Woody's Boomer Page !
He is not feeling well and needs some prayers and well wishes!
Now get to it!http://oldboomerwoodys.blogspot.com/2009/01/frozen-north.html

And as always, thanks for listening!

Just A Thought

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades!

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Things That Amaze Me!

In Massachusetts during a rodeo it is illegal to have sex with a rodeo clown in front of horses.

And remember..........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Things That Amaze Me !

The only job that you start at the top is digging a hole!

And remember......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Thanks Terri

Terri @ http://memoriesandsweetserenity.blogspot.com/2009/01/short-and-sweet.html?showComment=1231728420000#c1021400633920117592

wrote about how her Aunt and Uncle Treated them to dinner and it brought some sadness to me but also a great deal of love and respect for my Uncle Ray & Aunt Marion, if it was not for them for the last 4 months I'd be in the mental ward, you see when my mom died they were right there to help me get through the tough times, I did not realize how much family is so important until recently, you see I'm a only child and all my life I did everything myself with no help from anybody.
Thanks Terri for reminding me whats important.
And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are..........
In Bed Sick.
And as always,thanks for listening!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A Reward For A Job Done Well


While I was out in the yard harvesting dog turds today, my Debbie made me a big pot of chili!
It's a tough job but someones got to do it!
And remember.........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Things That Amaze Me

If you get the bad case of the clap and it spreads can you call it an applause?

And remember.........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

#7 Is Lucky Or Is It?

#7 is not a lucky number in this case, you see those 7 little words will get you a hot seat in hell!
They are the Seven Deadly Sins

Luxuria - Lust
Gula - Gluttony
Avaritia - Greed
Acedia - Sloth
Ira - Wrath
Invidia - Envy
Superbia - Pride

Johnny G. Abuses the first one at least a few times a day!

And remember.........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Monday, January 5, 2009

#7 Is Lucky Or Is It?

These are seven words and seven is a lucky number or is it?

Luxuria
Gula
Avaritia
Acedia
Ira
Invidia
Superbia

The Number 7?

And remember......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Do You Measure Up?



Condoms 'too big' for Indian men
By Damian Grammaticus BBC News, Delhi

There is a "lack of awareness" over condom sizesA survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men!
Now Johnny G feels good about himself, I'm Bigger than hagee!
And remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Dancing With The Reaper

Yesterday at 6:30 am I got up to get a drink of water my throat felt dried out, I started to cough then choking then throwing up.
This went on for awhile then I could not breathe due to the fact my lungs started to fill up with fluid to appoint my right lung was not inflating properly because of plugs aka mucus filling in the air sacs!
I started to get light headed and fought for every breath I took, in the mean time Debbie got my nebulizer ready and got me on oxygen and the fight was on !
My legs and arms got tingly , which means I'm in full blown respiratory distress and am now fighting for every breath to stay alive due to low blood gases.
Within a half hour breathing became less difficult but still life threatening!
I did a whole days worth of meds in 3 hours to get back to normal breathing!
I danced with the reaper again and he is good and Johnny G. Has a few more Tangos on his card!
God Bless all of you and thank you for your concern!

And Remember........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

P.S. COPD IS A BITCH!
This is how my mom died!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes whats going on or how you feel.

My 3 words are.......
I almost died

And as always, thanks for listening!

Friday, January 2, 2009

A Tit For Tat New Year


How Does one Get bombed in the New Year in Jesus Land?

Go ask Nizar Rayan , it took a really big bomb from the Israelis to cure what ailed him , a matter of fact it helped to reduce the population on the Gaza strip by a few but what the hell is a few more dead terrorists anyway?

Oh the sweet smell of victory for Israel and a few more of our tax dollars down the drain for the price of peace!

Now the big Question is how does one get shit stains out of the sand of the Holy Land?

I see a few more Allah loving freaks going to get their virgins soon via the way of guided missiles!

The weather Channel predicts rain for a few weeks on the Gaza, yep it's Raining steel on the Holyland!
Just a little game of Tit For Tat During The Holidays amongst enemies!


And as always, thanks for listening!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Welcome Janus

New Years Eve was a Roman Pegan celebration to their Deity Janus, he was a 2 faced god that was a gate keeper and a keeper of doors, one face was always looking in the past and the other was always looking into the future, his main job was to make sure nothing was left behind or stuck in between closed and opened doors or gates.
We still use the term Janus but we know it as January and when we celebrate it when we open a new door into a new year.

OK , enough of that crap, this morning I was caring for a stomach Flu and headache A.k.a. Hangover from my celebrating of Janus!

Yesterday we went to the Boss's house to see the new dog, his name was Troubles, the Boss calls him Truffles, I'm not having any of that sissy shit so his name is now Eddy and Eddy is cool!

Now to go nurse this ever oh so hateful hangover and get back to bed!

Happy New Year To All And To All A Good Night!

And as always, thanks for listening!