Wednesday, July 1, 2009

I Just Can't Get Her Off My Mind And Depression Sets In

I was talking to My cousin yesterday,we were reminiscing of days of yore, Kids we hung with, Kids we partied with, yep our fun days.
I asked my cousin about my first true love, Renee` Thomas, He told me that she died a few years ago from a brain aneurysm,that hit me like a ton of bricks, the depression has settled in now and I can't get her out of my head!
I loved this chick and I guess the love for her never died.
I met her when I was 17 she was 15 we hit it off well and started dating.
Distance kept us apart on the week days but come the weekend if I could not hussle a ride ,I would walk the 11 miles to go see her and slept at my Aunts a few miles down the road.
God I loved her, her beautiful blond hair, her smell , her beautiful blue eyes, I can still see her in my mind as if it were yesterday.
God I miss her.
When I got home from basic training and AIT we were supposed to plan our wedding but when I got home it seemed that my life changed so much, I lost friends due to their silliness including her, it seemed that I did a whole lot of growing up and nobody kept up with me.
We broke up, on again off again relationship did not work out.
We always said we have each other in our hearts when we broke up.
I can't believe she is gone!
I'm not writting this behind my Debbies back, she knows what's going on, I tell her everything and I love my Debbie very much and would not hurt her in anyway.
I just did not realize how much love I had for her in my heart.
RIP Renee`

And as always, thanks for listening!


Marty said...

I'm sorry for your loss ... I'm sure you'll always think of her as the young girl you used to know, which is probably exactly how Renee would want it. Debbie sounds like a very understanding woman and you're lucky to have her.

Tabby said...

Hi John,
I am so sorry to hear this. Even though she has been gone a while with you just finding out it is like it just happened. I hope you can find peace and glad Debbie supports you.

Missie said...

I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling sad over her death. I would feel bad if my first true love died too. We all would. We're human!

Paula said...

I think there is always that little feeling of what might have been concerning that first love. Sorry you had to hear this news.Debbie is a love to understand and I'm sure she has her's too.

Terri said...

I'm so sorry for your loss John...that is sad...I'm glad Debbie supports you as well...we have all loved and hurts...I know Debbie completely understands...

Big Hugs my friend!


Joann said...

John, I'm SO sorry, and it's totally understandable that you'd be feeling the shock of the loss since you just found out, but try not to let the depression sink in, focus on the wonderful life you have with your precious wife. She's very special and very supportive, but I know you already know that.

Jimmy's Journal said...

A deeply felt emotion, John. Sometimes it'd better to just pen your thoughts to ease the pain.


Missy said...

You'll never forget your first love my dear friend.. take care and Happy Independence day...

Lisa said...

I'm sorry you lost your first love. We never really get over our first and it never diminishes the love we have for the others who are in our lives.

*Tracy* said...

im sorry aboutthe loss of your friend! hugs