The Worms Crawl In

Whenever you see a hearse go by, you may be the next to die.They'll wrap you up in a big white sheet and throw you in a hole that's 6 feet deep.Everything's fine for a week or so and then your nose begins to grow.The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play pinochle on your snout.Your stomach turns to an icy green and pus shoots out like white whipped cream.You wipe it up with a slice of bread, and that's what you eat when you are dead.

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.

My 3 words are.....

Enjoy Your Halloween!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Tis The Season

Happy All Hallows Eve!

Tonight is the night that the Celtics believed that the border between our world and the dead was very thin and the dead can pass back and forth into our world and theirs.They would make jack o" lanterns out of turnips to scare off the spirits!

Tonight is my favorite night, It's Mischief Night!!!!

All the little imps and ghouls go out tonight for ding dong ditch,stomp the shit and tp toss!

3 ply Tp is the best for durability and distance but don't squeeze the Charmin ,it don't fly right!

Have a great night you juvenile delinquents and don't forget your soap!

And remember....

Laissez les bon temp rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Thoughts On Sex

Vasectomy means you never have to say your sorry!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Thoughts On Life

Life is like a tin of sardines and we all are looking for a key!

And as always, thanks for listening

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes how you feel or what's going on.
My 3 words are....
Got tonights tickets!

And as always.thanks for listening!

Ordering Out

Thank God they found that little boy who was supposedly lost in that balloon.
For a moment there I thought Michael Jackson had ordered Take -Out!

And remember......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Mental Meltdown

For the first time in my life I'm all alone.

I don't know what the future holds for me, it kind of looks bleak right now.

The depression seems to be getting deeper, its roots dug deep in to my soul.

I met a nice lady at one of the stores I go to (about 2 weeks ago) we are slowly becoming friends, I was going to ask her yesterday if she wanted to join me for dinner, until I realize her name was Debbie, I almost had a freakin' melt down right there in the store.

I came home in a disturbed depressed state, What the hell was I thinking ? It is way to early to be asking anyone to join me for dinner.

My heart still hurts, my mind aches for my Debbie,how could I do that to her?It feels like I'd be cheating on her!

I've been in a bad way , need sleep.

I think I'm going to need therapy and stronger pills.

Going to medicate so I can sleep, Good night!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.

My 3 words are ......

Making Fritters Today!

And as always, thanks for listing!

You Can't Always Get What You Want

I went to Wal-Mart today to get my Prozac refilled And I asked the Pharmacist out on a date.
She looked sternly into my eyes and said" What are you freakin' nuts!"

And remember....
Laissez le bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

What Can I Say?

When I was 11 I was kidnapped , Mom & Dad snapped into action ,they rented out my room!

And remember.....

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

How Many Times?

I was reading about sex in a Magazine, It says that the average person in his or her life time has sex 2865 times.

Boy I sure do have a lot of catching up to do!

And remember...

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Cousin Update

After bringing my Aunt Ruth back from her Maryland vacation, Cousin Debbie was on her way back to Maryland, she stopped to say hello to cousin Bob, after leaving his house she was broadsided by a small pickup truck on the driverside door.
My cousin Bob was a few minutes behind her, ran up to her car and cut the deployed driverside air bag, called 911 and helped her until the ambulance got there.
She has a few fractured bones,3 fractures in the pelvis and 2 in her leg and a few bumps and bruises.
Her car was mangled but thank God that she is alive!
When I got the call last night it took me back to August of 1985, when cousin Mary was killed in a car accident, Cousin Debbie's sister,I was in a bad way all night until I heard her voice today, Debbie's that is.
Thank you All very much for your prayers.
Thank you Lord for being with her and keeping her safe.

And as always,thanks for listening!

Prayers Needed Please

My Cousin Debbie was in a bad car accident, please send prayers her way.
I have no information as of yet.

Thanks friends.

Latrine Duty And The Private Gets To Dig It

1.Latrines are so constructed to prevent the contamination of food and water. They are located at least 100 yards (90 meters) downwind (prevailing wind) and down gradient from the unit food service facility and at least 100 feet (30 meters) from any unit ground water source. They should never be placed above gradient of the unit food service facility. For further protection, latrines are not dug to the ground water level or in places where pit contents may drain into the water source. Usually they are built at least 30 yards (30 meters) from the border of the unit area but within a reasonable distance for easy access. A drainage ditch is dug around the edges of the latrine enclosure to keep out rainwater and other surface water. A handwashing device is installed outside each latrine enclosure; these devices should be easy to operate and kept full of water. Each individual must wash his hands after he uses the latrine.
2.When a latrine is filled to within 1 foot (30 centimeters) of the ground surface or when it is to be abandoned, it is closed in the following manner. The pit is filled to the ground surface in 3-inch (8-centimeter) layers; each layer is compacted. This is to prevent fly pupae from hatching and gaining access to the open air. Dirt is then compacted over the pit to form a mound at least 1-foot (30-centimeters) high. A sign is posted with the date and the words �closed latrine,� if the tactical situation permits.

The most important job in the Military is digging a latrine, more important than Strategic and Logistic M.O.S.'s!
The most important man in the field is the lowly private, no one makes a move until his job is done!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.
my 3 words are.......
Very Very Bored

And as always, thanks for listening!

A Few Things That You Hear At Area 51

A good Jewish drinking buddy of mine, Sholem Aleichem, once told me....
No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living even if it kills you!

Good ole George Shaw once said....
Alcohol is the Anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life!

You got to be kidding me, I freakin' won what? Barrack Obama about the Nobel Peace Prize.

You Got to be kiddin' me, I freakin' won what? John Garnett about the TAC Award.
I want to thank Father James Sullivan for the Holy Grail of Awards The TAC!

Father James, there will be a few big bills in the collection plate this Sunday for you!( My Mortgage Bill and My Visa Bill!)

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Shooting The Moon

No I'm not talking about playing cinch, when you shoot the moon and grab all the point cards.

Today NASA is shooting the moon with a rocket to kick up debris to see if there is hydrogen in it(I guess freakin' up our enviroment ain't bad enough, way to go NASA!).

I wonder what enviromental impact this will have on us?

And as always, thanks for listening!

Things I Have Learned

I have learned that life is a great teacher but unfortunately it kills all of its students!

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Baby Derrick AKA The Accomplice

My daughter came today to take me out to eat and to see My Grandson Derrick.
We went to Pizza Hut and had a great dinner and afterwards went to a Baby store to pick up a new car seat.
She found one she wanted and there was none left on the shelf for the customers but a box up on the top shelf ,so she got someone to get the box downand off to the cashier.
While everyone in line was playing cuchee coo wih the baby I took everything out of the box , there was 2 items in the box , so I figured it was the car seat and the car seat carrier .
She pays for the car seat and off we go.
As I was putting everything in the car my daughter notices that there is 2 car seats that I was stuffing in the trunk, I looked and I'll be damned, there was 2 car seats in the box, then it dawns on me that's how they ship them to the store , 2 per box so there is no wasted room or odd shaped boxes sothe truck gets full and no space is wasted.
Now my daughter asks me if we should return one, the right thing would have been yes on rerturning it but I want your opinion on this?
1 return one
2 keep both, one for each car.
3 donate one.
4 sale one on E-Bay
5 return one for store credit.

It's all up to you.
Please put your opinion in on this matter.

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Quagmire

I Bought a book on depression but it is to depressing to read!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are.......
Missing Wild Thing!

And as always, thanks for listening!

FYI

If you down load the google tool bar there is a translate button on it, when you go visit other than english blogs hit that button and it puts all the words in english so you can enjoy other language speaking peoples blogs.

And as always, thanks for listening!

Who's Your Mum?

Today is October 1st, to me it is now the 1st day of fall.
Going to buy a few Potted Mums for Debbies and my Mom & Dad's Grave today.
I always liked the red ones.
What color is your favorite Mum?

And as always, thanks for listening!