Can You Feel The Love?

After taking my meds and downing a few drinks I was in a lustful kind of way.
"Debbie" I said " I'm very horny tonight!"
Her freakin' reply was " John , take matters into your own hands, I'm in a Ithphallophobia kind of way!"

Can you feel the freakin' love here?

And remember.......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Disturbing Dream

I awoke at 3am shaking and screaming from a bad dream.
In my dream I was at a concert and I was trying to get back to my seat, the fans started chanting Helen, Helen , Helen, I look , there was my Grand Mother naked as a Blue Jay , swinging her Granny Pantys over her head yelling " Bobby you Polish Prince take me I'm Yours!
It was disturbing enough to see my Grand Ma trying to get laid at a concert but more disturbing to me was what in the freakin' hell was I doing at A Bobby Vinton Concert ?

And remember..........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

A Night In Bed With Debbie And I

Saturday #3's

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what is going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are......
Sleeping with dog.

And remember..........
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always , thanks for listening!

I Shit You Not

Crocs and Birth Control
In 2000 BC, Egyptian physicians recommended using pessaries of crocodile dung as a spermicide. While this ancient birth control method is no doubt unavailable at your local pharmacy, you can probably ask your local crocodile to provide it under the table.

Honey is it your turn to go get the contraceptives?

Baby , you smell marvelous!

And remember.........

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

I Shit You Not

Before there was Toilet Paper.......

You should thank your lucky stars you live in the twentieth century, bucko. Let me tell you about ... corncobs. You may not believe this, but it was once common practice in rural America to leave a corncob hanging from a string in the outhouse for purposes of personal hygiene. The string, I gather, was to permit the cob to be reused. For those who were punctilious in these matters, or else blessed with an abundance of corncobs, a box of disposable cobs might be provided instead. In coastal regions, the cob might be replaced by a mussel shell.
For those who had access to it, paper from discarded books or newspapers was often preferred to either of the foregoing. The meteoric growth of the Sears Roebuck company, for instance, is thought to be partly attributable to the protean nature of its catalogs, which, historians tells us, might serve a family of regular habits for an entire season. As with the cob, the catalog would be hung in the outhouse on a string and pages torn off as needed. It is said the use of coated stock, which was nonabsorbent, was a source of great consternation to farm families when Sears began printing color pictures in the catalog earlier in this century.
English lords, in attempting to teach their sons to be cultivated gentlemen, often advised purchasing an inexpensive volume of verse for use in the loo. The idea, of course, was that while you were sitting there in a contemplative state you would be able to read a few stanzas, subsequent to which the paper could be put to other ends, so to speak. It has not escaped my notice that my magnum opus, The Straight Dope: A Compendium of Human Knowledge, is also well suited for this purpose. Indeed, in the next edition we are thinking about perforating the pages, for maximum convenience.

And remember............
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

God Bless All Veterans

Thank you for serving our great nation.
God Bless you all!

And as always, thanks for listening!

E-4 John Garnett

Communication Specialist And Cannon Crewman

Btry B 1/bn 109th Fa.