My Brain Is In Pain Again

Death By Diet

2012-01-27T15:33:00.002-05:00

A good friend of mine died yesterday by a diet, it was the cocaine diet.
He was on it for years, he got so damn skinny his spine slid through his asshole and hung himself!

And remember...,.
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Just Remember...........

2012-01-25T23:17:00.002-05:00

It's all Shits and Giggles
Until Someone
Giggles And Shits!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

John Is Freakin' Tired! XXX Language Not For Sensitve Ears , If that fits You Stay The Hell Out!

2012-01-13T09:55:00.006-05:00

Johnny G is very fkin' tired of our politicians, a bunch of sensitive clits!
They take decent human beings, throw them in to the wild with weapons and tell them to kill all enemies for their fkin' cause, when the killin' starts and the euphoria of it all sets the fk in and those faggot politicians don't like what they see because it don't fkin' benefit the cause, oh fkin' well people it's fkin' war!
Mutilation and molestation are war words, desecration to me sounds like fkin' religious words , ok people it's fkin' war, nothing fkin' pretty about it keep religion out of it, the stress of killin a human being is tremendous nothin' fkin' normal about it you want normalcy send in our beloved Girl Scouts armed with thousands of rounds of Fkin' Thin Mints!
Those Camel Humpin' Fudge Packin' Taliban cryin' fkin foul over 4 bladder filled Marines relieving themselves over a few dead fkin'pieces of human garbage and call it desecration ?
Wow, these Flintstones have big fkin' balls call it the way they see it HUH?
What about those allah lovin' bastards beheading, burning and hanging our dead soldiers, yeah what the fk about that huh!?
I say shit all over those dead taliban soldiers and tell those cry baby faggots in Dc to send in Rabbi's, preists and reverands with their bibles and finish their holy war!
God Bless our soldiers!

Bad Weather?

2012-01-05T14:06:00.002-05:00

Bad weather at my house!
This morning I ran into a brainstorm, now my freakin' day is ruined!

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Dreams Can Come True!

2012-01-04T14:20:00.003-05:00

I always wanted to own my own business.
It has been a life long dream to open a 7/11 in Pakistan!

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

All Is Well On 1/2/12

2012-01-02T04:34:00.001-05:00

New Year's Resolution

2012-01-01T17:20:00.002-05:00

Is now lessening his greenhouse gases by reducing his production of methane gas by using less legumes!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

A Picture Can Paint A Thousand Words!

2011-11-05T15:45:00.001-04:00

At Least I'm Enjoying The Ride!

2011-10-28T23:02:00.002-04:00

Well I was drinkin last night with a bikerAnd I showed him a picture of you I said, pal get to know her, you'll like her Seemed like the least I could do.Cause when he's chargin his chopper Up and down your carpeted halls You will think I am dressed up quite proper Never mind how I stumble and fall.You imagine me sipping champagne from your boot For taste of your elegant prideI may be going to hell in a bucket, babe But at least Im enjoying the ride, at least I'll enjoy the ride.Cause you're a sweet little softcore pretender Somehow, babe, it got as hot as it gets With her black leather and gold spike suspenders And your chain, your black whip and pets.Well we know you're the reincarnation Of the infamous catherine the great And we know how you love the ovation And the scene that it seems to create.You imagine me sipping champagne from your boot For taste of your elegant pride I may be going to hell in a bucket, babe But at least Im enjoying the ride, at least I'll enjoy the ride.You analyze me, tend to despise me You laugh when I stumble and fall There may come a say when I'll dance on your grave Unable to dance I'll still crawl across it Unable to dance I'll still crawl Unable to dance I'll still crawl Unable to dance I'll crawl.You must really consider the circus It just might be your kind of zoo I can't think of a place that's more perfect For a person as perfect as you. And it's not like Im leaving you lonely Cause I wouldn't know where to begin Well I know you wake up here only When the snakes come marching in.You imagine me sipping champagne from your boot For taste of your elegant pride I may be going to hell in a bucket, babe But at least Im enjoying the ride, at least I'll enjoy the ride.Ride, ride, rideRide, ride, rideRide, ride, rideAt least I'll enjoy the ride.At least I'll enjoy the ride.At least I'll enjoy the ride.

The Way I See It !

2011-10-19T19:41:00.003-04:00

I was hungry tonight for Pizza, so I jumped in the truck and went to my favorite joint, as I was parking the truck I saw a homeless man siting on the bench bumming cigarettes as people came out of the pizza pallor.
As I was coming out of the joint with 2 Pizza pies, A cheese Steak hoagie and a bucket of wings, the old man said to me" Mister I have not eatten in 3 days!"
I looked at the old man and said " I sure do like your will power!"

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Occupied

2011-10-12T17:27:00.002-04:00

To all who are occupying Wall street, My hat is off to you and God Bless!
It reminds me of the time I occupied something, if i remember right, it was the shitter on the Greyhound Line!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

The Horror Of It All !

2011-09-29T13:21:00.004-04:00

26 years after our divorce , my ex-wife can still be a pain in my ass!
She came over last night wanting to borrow money for pills, I asked her what the pills were for, she had told me she was going through the change and needed the money for pills.
I knew she was freakin' lying to me, the only time she goes through the change is when there is a full moon out!

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Things You See On T.V.

2011-09-15T10:39:00.002-04:00

Yesterday afternoon whilst flipping through the stations I spotted 4 white chicks chasing a tiger.
Yep, I could not believe my eyes, until I realized it wasn't the animal channel I was watching but the Golf channel!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, Thanks for listening!

Always And Forever

2011-08-09T08:49:00.006-04:00

It's been 2 years my Darling since we kissed goodbye.

I love you Always and Forever Debbie

I Remember When .......

2011-08-04T12:07:00.004-04:00

I was 13 years old, Arby's came out with the 5 for $5 Cheddar Roast Beef Sandwiches.
Either inflation has never hit Arby's or they've been Highballing us for 36 years!

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Recovering Thinker

2011-07-21T20:46:00.002-04:00

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read writings of Plato, Saint Augustine of Hippo, Jesus Christ, and Aristotle. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about.
I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey, " I confessed, "I've been thinking..." "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!" "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for Clinton's latest book "Family Morals in America". Listening to a PBS station on the radio, I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors... they didn't open. The library was closed. Later, I realized that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.
Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Jerry Spinger" talking about the song "I'm bad" by Michael Jacks. Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. Life just seemed .. more bland .. without purpose or meaning, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking, and avoided thoughts about the meaning of life and my future. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home and the office. Now I stare for hours at the T.V. and receive my daily dose of brainwashing instead of contemplating the mysteries of life.
Have you joined thinker's anonymous

Gay Marriage

2011-07-12T14:44:00.002-04:00

If you are against gay marriage and want to stop it, tell straight people to quit having gay babies!
And Remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, Thanks for listening!

Robert Hares Psychopath Test

2011-06-25T13:45:00.001-04:00

The two factorsFactor 1: Personality "Aggressive narcissism"

Glibness/superficial charm
Grandiose sense of self-worth
Pathological lying
Cunning/manipulative
Lack of remorse or guilt
Shallow affect (genuine emotion is short-lived and egocentric)
Callousness; lack of empathy
Failure to accept responsibility for own actions

Factor 2: Case history "Socially deviant lifestyle".

Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
Parasitic lifestyle
Poor behavioral control
Lack of realistic long-term goals
Impulsivity
Irresponsibility
Juvenile delinquency
Early behavior problems
Revocation of conditional release

Traits not correlated with either factor

Promiscuous sexual behavior
Many short-term marital relationships
Criminal versatility
Acquired behavioural sociopathy/sociological conditioning (Item 21: a newly identified trait i.e. a person relying on sociological strategies and tricks to deceive)

Blinded By Rainbows

2011-06-12T13:57:00.003-04:00

Did you ever feel the painThat he felt upon the cross
Did you ever feel the knifeTearing flesh that's oh so soft
Did you ever touch the night
Did you ever count the cost
Do you hide away the fearPut down paradise as lost
Yeah you're blinded by rainbows
Watching the wind blow
Blinded by rainbows
Do you dream at night
Do you sleep at night
I doubt it
Did you ever feel the blast
As the semtex bomb goes off
Do you ever hear the screams
As the limbs are all torn off
Did you ever kiss the child
Who just saw his father shot
Do you ever she'd a tear
As the war drags on and on
Do you ever touch the night
Or is it just another job
Do you feel the final hours
Put down paradise as lost
Yeah you're blinded by rainbows
And faces in windows
Blinded by rainbows
Do you dream at night
Do you sleep at night
I doubt it
Do you ever fear the night
Could it be the war is lost
Do you fear the final hour
Do you kneel before the cross
Youre blinded by rainbows
And watching the wind blow
Blinded by rainbows
Do you dream at night
Do you scream at night
Do you smell of fear
Is your conscience clear
Are you caked in sweat
Are your clothes all wet
Do you see the light
Is the end in sight
See the face of christ
Enter paradise
I doubt it

Obama Got Osama

2011-05-02T00:34:00.004-04:00

I'm 18... Redone By Creed

2011-04-28T19:21:00.001-04:00

Adapt And Overcome

2011-04-28T10:31:00.003-04:00

Jumped in the shower this morning and found out that I ran out of bodywash.
Whats a man to do?
Adapt and overcome, I looked on the shelf and what to my eyes appear , sitting there was a bottle of herbal medicated dog shampoo, oh what the hell why not.
My hair is shiney but the only problem is i can't stop licking my ass!

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listing!

It Is What It Is

2011-04-26T07:26:00.005-04:00

I called my health care provider to see if they would pay for experimental acupuncture treatments to ease the pain in my hips. They told me no but if I was an 80 year old man the would pay for treatments for erectile dysfunction!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

How Tough Was It?

2011-04-23T20:05:00.002-04:00

"I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Pennsylvania for the past Forty Eight years, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Pennsylvania that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines."

Happy Easter One And All!
And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

Bath Time?

2011-04-08T12:15:00.004-04:00

You can really get a hint when its bath time, when you go to take off your gray socks and realize that you don't own any gray socks. And remember... Laissez les bon temps rouler! And as always, thanks for listening!

Marketing?

2011-03-31T21:33:00.002-04:00

Mens' athletic supporters come from France. Various inventions had been tried to help mens' anatomy to remain stable while they were riding horses, but nothing was effective. A clever farmhand, searching for a solution, devised the idea as an adaptation of mens' braces (known in the US as suspenders). This adaptation was an immediate success. He left the farm, and began a business. What is important is his name: Jacques Strappe.

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Date Night?

2011-03-24T13:55:00.002-04:00

Was just being bold last night and asked a very special friend of mine out on a date last night and she said yes!
It has been along time since i've dated ,not to sure on what to do, I think maybe first things first, i'll get my goat smelling ass in the shower and scrub up!
Maybe a movie and dinner?

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Ain't It Funny How Time Slips Away?

2011-03-19T19:50:00.000-04:00

Well hello there
My it's been a long,long time.
How ya doing? How am I doing?
Well I guess I'm doing fine.
But it's been so long, but it seems like
it was only yesterday.

Ain't it funny how time slips away.

Well how's your new love, how's your new love.
Well I hope he's doin fine.
I heard you told him, I heard you said "you'd love him til the end of time"
Now that's the same thing you told me it seems like just the other day

Ain't it funny how time slips away.

Well I've got to go now, I've got to go.
Well I guess I'll see you around.
I don't know when though, cause I don't know when I'll be back in town.
But remember what I tell you cause in time your gonna pay.

Ain't it funny how time slips away.
Oh it's suprising how time slips away.

Staint Patrick's Day History

2011-03-15T11:58:00.001-04:00

St. Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland, although he was born in Britain. Many miracles have been attributed to the bishop, including the driving of the snakes from Ireland. His sainthood derives from his conversion of the Irish celtic pagans to Christianity. He used the native shamrock as a symbol of the holy trinity when preaching and brought the Latin alphabet to Ireland. March 17 is the feast day of St. Patrick, of course.

The custom of imbibing alcohol on St. Patrick's Day comes from an old Irish legend. As the story goes, St. Patrick was served a measure of whiskey that was considerably less than full. St. Patrick took this as an opportunity to teach a lesson of generosity to the innkeeper. He told the innkeeper that in his cellar resided a monstrous devil who fed on the dishonesty of the innkeeper. In order to banish the devil, the man must change his ways. When St. Patrick returned to the hostelry some time later, he found the owner generously filling the patrons' glasses to overflowing. He returned to the cellar with the innkeeper and found the devil emaciated from the landlord's generosity, and promptly banished the demon, proclaiming thereafter everyone should have a drop of the "hard stuff" on his feast day.

This custom is known as Pota Phadraig or Patrick's Pot. The custom is known as "drowning the shamrock" because it is customary to float a leaf of the plant in the whiskey before downing the shot.

St. Patrick's Day was first celebrated in America in Boston, Massachusetts in 1737, and is now celebrated nationwide as an opportunity to wear green and consume green libations. The celebration in Ireland is more of a religious matter, whereas in the U.S., it is a festive occasion. The wearing o' the green is a symbol of Ireland's lush green farmlands.

And as alway's thanks for listening!

Life Since '09

2011-03-10T13:29:00.002-05:00

Well ,since My Debbie had passed my life is like a roller coaster of emotions .
I did start back on drinking , sorry folks but I Gots to do what I Gots to do, but not nearly as much as I use to drink.
I am just starting to get use to being alone , it's not easy for me but I will adjust eventually.
My melt downs are very few now , I guess the meds are working....Ha!, you never ever recover from a loss of a loved one and in a strange way I really don't want to... I still love her and as I said it is getting easier but her love and memories are all that I have of her.
A few of my friends online and here in Pa. Have helped me through the worst of it And I thank and Love all of them that helped me recover.
God Bless All Of You!!!!!!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Pay It Forward

2011-02-25T12:54:00.002-05:00

Last week a family helped me out and it was greatly appreciated , so today I payed it forward.
I was at the store today to get a money order and a lil old lady checking out could not remember her pin number to her card, she was crying and upset and embarrassed.
I put her food order on my tab, she was very thankful but still embarrassed, she kept asking how she could pay me back, i said pray for me and pay it forward.
God Bless Us All!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Its Merry Christmas Too You!

2010-12-19T15:28:00.004-05:00

When you call my house and wish me a Happy Holiday ,you can stick it in your ass,there is nothing "Happy" about my Holiday.I'm tired of the P.C. Bullshit the Government tries to shove down our throats!It is Jesus Christ's Birthday,you know, Christmas , The Birth Of our Saviour.That's what it is, no need to sugar coat it for the non believers, Merry Christmas Not Happy Holidays, that's all I got to say!

And as always, Thanks for listening!

My Happy Ass Celebrating Christmas

2010-12-10T22:16:00.001-05:00

FDR's Speech On Dec.8 1941

2010-12-06T22:55:00.009-05:00

To the Congress of the United States:
Yesterday, Dec. 7, 1941 - a date which will live in infamy - the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.
The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with the government and its emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific.
Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in Oahu, the Japanese ambassador to the United States and his colleagues delivered to the Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. While this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or armed attack.
It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time, the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.
The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. Very many American lives have been lost. In addition, American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.
Yesterday, the Japanese government also launched an attack against Malaya.
Last night, Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong.
Last night, Japanese forces attacked Guam.
Last night, Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Islands.
Last night, the Japanese attacked Wake Island.
This morning, the Japanese attacked Midway Island.
Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.
As commander in chief of the Army and Navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense.
Always will we remember the character of the onslaught against us.
No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.
I believe I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again.
Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger.
With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounding determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God.
I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, Dec. 7, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese empire.

God Bless All That Died That Day!

And as always, thanks for listening!

New Rules!

2010-11-14T03:10:00.002-05:00

Dear Employee:As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company.SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW.SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management.This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our:Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor.Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can stand.And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.

And Remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

And That's When She Slapped The Shit Out Of Me!

2010-10-26T18:01:00.006-04:00

Today was not a very good day for me.
Got up not feeling very well this morning, a bad chest cold and clogged sinuses got me good.
Took a shower , did my meds and headed out to the doctor's office. Got there to find out my doc was on vacation and his associate was taking his place for today.

I was seated in examining room #2 and one of the nurses was taking my blood pressure and temperature when in came The replacement Doctor, her name was Pamela.
Well Pamela was asking me a series of questions about my health and all I could do is just stare at her, I was like a school boy in love.
Finally Pamela got pissed at me for staring at her and had asked me what in the hell I was looking at?

I said "Darling I must be staring at the cure for erectile dysfunction!"

I woke up in I.C.U.

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

In The News

2010-10-25T11:45:00.000-04:00

People With Too Much Money

Women's handbag designers, uncertain about the effect of Hurricane Katrina on Louisiana's alligator habitats, spent the winter searching for new supplies of hides, according to a March Wall Street Journal report. The fall gator harvest saw prices rise 50 percent from two years earlier, forcing Ralph Lauren, for example, to raise the price of its most prestigious alligator purse to $14,000, and hide prices were expected to rise another 50 percent this summer. (Alligator shoes, shirts and coats have also soared in price, and the alligator-paneled piano sold by Giorgio's of Palm Beach now costs $950,000.) [Wall Street Journal, 3-18-06]

And as always, thanks for listening!

In The News

2010-10-17T19:32:00.001-04:00

The Classic Middle Name (all-new!)
Arrested recently and awaiting trial for murder: Larry Wayne Call, Faith, N.C. (September); Kenneth Wayne Carlson, Hines Creek, Alberta, Canada (August); Timothy Wayne Morgan, Eugene, Ore. (August); Julius Wayne Willis Jr., Minneapolis (July); Scott Wayne Eby, Wilmington, Ill. (May, charged in a 2004 murder); Douglas Wayne Jones, Oxford, Miss. (May); Kenneth Wayne Rogers, Dallas (April, charged in a 2008 murder). Indicted for murder recently and awaiting trial: Gary Wayne Pettigrew, Tarrant County, Texas (August, indicted in a 1983 murder). Pleaded guilty to murder: Edward Wayne Edwards, Akron, Ohio (August, involving a 1977 murder, not the ones News of the Weird listed him for in August 2009). Convicted of murder: David Wayne Alexander, Pittsburgh (July 2009). Call: [Charlotte Observer, 7-8-10] Carlson: [Edmonton Journal, 8-22-10] Morgan: [KPTV (Portland), 8-17-10] Willis: [City Pages (Minneapolis), 7-7-10] Eby: [Chicago Tribune, 6-13-10] Jones: [Oxford (Miss.) Eagle, 5-18-10] Rogers: [Dallas Morning News, 4-14-10] Pettigrew: [Fort Worth Star-Telegram, 8-28-10] Edwards: [The News-Herald (Willoughby, Ohio), 8-26-10] Alexander: [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 7-8-09]

And as always, thanks for listening!

When The Frost Is On The Pumpkin....

2010-10-15T21:43:00.001-04:00

WHEN the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock, And you hear the kyouck and gobble of the struttin' turkey-cock, And the clackin' of the guineys, and the cluckin' of the hens, And the rooster's hallylooyer as he tiptoes on the fence; O, it's then the time a feller is a-feelin' at his best, With the risin' sun to greet him from a night of peaceful rest, As he leaves the house, bareheaded, and goes out to feed the stock, When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock. They's something kindo' harty-like about the atmusfere When the heat of summer's over and the coolin' fall is here— Of course we miss the flowers, and the blossoms on the trees, And the mumble of the hummin'-birds and buzzin' of the bees; But the air's so appetizin'; and the landscape through the haze Of a crisp and sunny morning of the airly autumn days Is a pictur' that no painter has the colorin' to mock— When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock. The husky, rusty russel of the tossels of the corn, And the raspin' of the tangled leaves as golden as the morn; The stubble in the furries—kindo' lonesome-like, but still A-preachin' sermuns to us of the barns they growed to fill; The strawstack in the medder, and the reaper in the shed; The hosses in theyr stalls below—the clover overhead!— O, it sets my hart a-clickin' like the tickin' of a clock, When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock. Then your apples all is gethered, and the ones a feller keeps Is poured around the cellar-floor in red and yaller heaps; And your cider-makin's over, and your wimmern-folks is through With theyr mince and apple-butter, and theyr souse and sausage too!... I don't know how to tell it—but ef such a thing could be As the angels wantin' boardin', and they'd call around on me— I'd want to 'commodate 'em—all the whole-indurin' flock— When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.

And as always, thanks for listening!

Picture Of My Ass

2010-08-27T17:04:00.001-04:00

No Mosque At Ground Zero

2010-08-16T19:40:00.000-04:00

Saturday #3's

2010-08-14T12:38:00.003-04:00

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes whats going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are...

Lost My Cap.

And as always, thanks for listening!

In The News

2010-08-11T06:04:00.002-04:00

The California Humane Society has filed a criminal complaint against a man they say is keeping tropical fish in a moving blender. The man admits it is true but says he has never turned the blender above mix. The Humane Society claims he had it up to Whip and Puree several times.

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

I love You Darling

2010-08-09T09:43:00.002-04:00

Darling it's been a year since I kissed and held you in my arms.
I love you and will forever .
Waiting till it is my turn to be with you again!
Love always
John

Memorial Tattoo For My Debbie

2010-08-08T10:54:00.000-04:00

Saturday #3's

2010-08-07T12:14:00.001-04:00

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are.....
Taking Brain Dump!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Just A Thought

2010-08-06T19:24:00.002-04:00

Sea World should have a special aquarium that features fish sticks. In fact, I wouldn't mind seeing Mrs. Paul herself swimming around in there.

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

In The News

2010-08-03T12:47:00.002-04:00

A spokesman for the vatican announced today that in Rome a statue of St. Peter has come to life and is passing along fishing tips and veal recipes.

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

Limericks

2010-08-02T05:35:00.002-04:00

There was a young man from St. Maarten
Who saved all his odors from faartin.
If it passed through his crack
It went straight in a sack
And mistakes were all kept in a caarton.

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

2010-07-31T09:18:00.002-04:00

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are....
Roses for Debbie

And as always, thanks for listening!

Just A Thought

2010-07-29T15:29:00.002-04:00

When a plane crashes , and a lot of people die, I always wonder what happens to their frequent flier miles.

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Earthquake Survival Tip

2010-07-27T11:40:00.003-04:00

The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store!

and remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Only In My World

2010-07-26T18:31:00.002-04:00

Where the wolves are silent and the moon howls!

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday #3's

2010-07-24T10:04:00.002-04:00

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes whats going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are.....
Freakin' Blazing Hot!

And as always, thanks for listening!

The Way I See It

2010-07-22T10:48:00.003-04:00

Some say the glass is Half-empty, Some say It is Half-full.
I say the glass is to freakin' big!

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Just A Thought

2010-07-21T09:51:00.002-04:00

Instead of having truck scales on the highway, I think they ought to get one of those guys from the carnival and let him guess the weights.

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

In The News

2010-07-20T18:12:00.002-04:00

A woman in Montana was severely injured this afternoon when she attempted to force-breast-feed a wolverine.

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Life

2010-07-19T20:20:00.002-04:00

Life is hard, After all it kills you!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Saturday 3's

2010-07-17T05:46:00.002-04:00

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes what's going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are...

Forgot Saturday 3's

And as always, thanks for listening!

Preamble To The Constitution Of The American Legion

2010-07-16T15:37:00.003-04:00

For God and Countrywe associate ourselves together for thefollowing purposes:
To uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America;
To maintain Law and Order;
To foster and perpetuate a one hundred percent Americanism;
To preserve the memories and incidents of our associations in the Great Wars;
To inculcate a sense of individual obligation to the Community, State and Nation;
To combat the autocracy of both the classes and the masses;
To make right the Master of Might;
To promote Peace and Goodwill on earth;
To safeguard and transmit to posterity the principles of Justice, Freedom and Democracy;
To consecrate and sanctify our comradeship by our devotion to mutual helpfulness.
God Bless Us All!

And as always, thanks for listening!

Watch Your Step

2010-07-14T09:08:00.002-04:00

Do you ever reach the top of a staircase and think there's one more step? So you take one of those big, awkward steps that doesn't accomplish anything? And then you have to do it a few more times,so people will think it's something you do all the time."I do this all the time, Folks.It's the third stage of syphilis."

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

For The Guys

2010-07-13T11:04:00.002-04:00

Do you ever have to sneeze while your taking a piss?It's frightening. Deep down you're afraid you'll release all sorts of bodily fluids into your pants.What people don't realize is that it is physically impossible to sneeze while pissing; your brain won't allow it.Because your brain knows you might blow your asshole out,and wind up having to repaint the entire apartment.

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always,thanks for listening!

All Hell Breaking Loose

2010-07-12T09:17:00.003-04:00

I never worry that all hell will break loose.My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Makes Me Feel Good

2010-07-11T10:18:00.002-04:00

Isn't it a good feeling when you read the tabloids and realize that a lot of famous people are just as fucked up as you are?

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Play Ball

2010-07-08T12:50:00.003-04:00

When the convention of testical transplant surgeons had its annual softball game,they asked me to throw out the first ball.

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Makes No Sense To Me

2010-07-07T13:56:00.003-04:00

We use the sun to make electricity,and then we use electricity to operate sun lamps and tanning machines.

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always , Thanks for listening!

Order For Table 9 Is Up ,Now Hop To It!

2010-07-05T20:59:00.004-04:00

In restaurants where they serve frog's legs,what do they do with the rest of the frog?Do they just throw it away?You never see "frog torsos" on the menu. Is there actually a garbage can full of frog bodies in the alley?I wouldn't want to be a homeless guy looking for an unfinished cheese burger and open the lid on that!

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Just Wondering

2010-07-04T11:56:00.001-04:00

Is it illegal to charge admission to a free for all?

And Remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Hygiene

2010-07-03T11:17:00.003-04:00

I didn't wash today.If I'm not dirty,I don't wash.Some weeks I don't have to shower at all.I just groom my 3 basic areas : teeth, hair, and asshole.And to save time ,I use the same brush!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

I Gots To Know

2010-07-02T10:04:00.002-04:00

Can placebos cause side effects?
If so,are the side effects real?

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

I Never

2010-06-29T15:39:00.002-04:00

I've never been quarantined.But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea!
And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Hospital Visit

2010-06-25T23:34:00.002-04:00

Went to the er today, just let me say this to you good folks, never and I mean never drink beer milk shakes, it makes you foam from both ends!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, Thanks for listening!

Drivers Ed

2010-06-24T12:44:00.006-04:00

Okay.Now, a few basic points about driving.
One of the first things they teach you in Drivers Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you to put 'em at ten o'clock and two o'clock. Screw that shit. I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. It gives me an extra half hour to get to where I'm goin'!

And remember.....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Let The Games Begin

2010-06-21T13:31:00.005-04:00

It seems that every Bp Gas station I go to now have tarps over their logo signs, so just out of curiosity I went into one and bought rub off tickets and asked what gas they were selling, their answer was Sunoco Gas.

Could it be that Bp is starting bankruptcy policies or are they trying to stop the boycotting of their fuel?

Just Curious.

And as always, thanks for listening!

Nature Facts

2010-06-20T16:43:00.003-04:00

Rubbing a toad will give you warts is just a myth, but rubbing a toad long enough will give him a hard on!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Fetish

2010-06-16T18:00:00.002-04:00

Here is something my blogger friends don't know about me...
I have a clothes fetish, I like to dress up as a Nun on Sundays.
I'm by no means a cross dresser but was worried about it, so today I went to the psychiatrist and he told me there was nothing wrong with it but not to do it more than once a week or it could be Habit Forming!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

BOYCOTT BP

2010-06-13T18:49:00.002-04:00

The Yellow Rose Of Texas

2010-06-13T00:32:00.003-04:00

In The News

2010-06-12T07:54:00.001-04:00

Geologists Claim that although the world is running out of oil,there is still a 200 year supply of brake fluid!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Bad Morning

2010-06-10T13:07:00.001-04:00

The first thing this morning,I got into an argument with a bowl of rice crispies!
I distinctly heard Snap, Crackle, Fuck You!
I don't know which one of those lil bastards said it but one of them did!
There is no arguments with fruitloops.

And remember...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

Basic Facts

2010-06-09T22:59:00.002-04:00

I never read memoirs;the last thing I need is someone else's memories.
I have all I can do to deal with my own.

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

My Peepers Ain't What They Use To Be!

2010-06-06T17:17:00.002-04:00

I think good ole Johnny G needs to go to the eye doctor, whilst eating tuna and crackers i happened to look down at the can and it read Friskies Mariners Catch!
Tasted pretty good until I ate what looked like to be an eye!

And remember....
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

It's A Boy?

2010-06-03T15:17:00.002-04:00

My buddy's wife just had a 10 lb baby boy.
Come on folks, do you know what a 10 lb baby boy looks like?
Kind of like John Goodman at a distance!

And remember......
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And as always, thanks for listening!

eternal thoughts

2010-05-30T00:05:00.003-04:00

Death borders upon our birth,and our cradle in the grave. Our birth is nothing but our death begun.
And as always thanks for listening!

Strange Shit

2010-05-21T13:43:00.003-04:00

I think my cat is eating more than kibble,whilst cleaning out the litter box, I found a cat turd with feathers in it!

And remember...
laissez les bon temps rouler!

And as always, thanks for listening!

The Continuity Of Society

2010-05-18T13:50:00.002-04:00

Society is a partnership not only between those who are living but between those who are living, those who are dead and those who are to be born.
Edmund Burke

And as always, thanks for living!

Freedom

2010-05-12T13:00:00.003-04:00

To be born a free man is an accident;
To live a free man is a responsibility;
To die a free man is an obligation.
Author unknown

And as always, thanks for listening!

A Great Dream

2010-04-28T18:51:00.002-04:00

Last night I awoke with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face.
My Debbie was standing with her arms streched out in a beauiful white gown,golden shiney hair and a big smile on her face, in this dream I was trying to be with her but they would not let me, she kept smiling and then I awoke.
I cried happy tears as I took this as a sign that she had made it to heaven and that it was not my turn to join her.
I miss her dearly.

And as always,thanks for listening!

What Comes Around Goes Around

2010-03-22T20:15:00.002-04:00

My Aunt Ruthie , when i needed in my troubled life , for 10 years gave me a place to stay.
Now i ask her to stay here,hoping she will!
please give some prayer's that she'll stay with me!

And as always,thanks for listening!

The Auld Times

2010-03-14T00:50:00.000-05:00

The Rebel

2010-03-14T00:40:00.000-05:00

Fiddlers Green

2010-03-13T21:52:00.000-05:00

True Irishman

2010-03-13T21:49:00.000-05:00

Kiss My Irish Ass

2010-03-13T21:45:00.000-05:00

Light In Darkness

2010-03-09T14:30:00.002-05:00

There are three candles that illumine every darkness: truth, nature and knowledge.

__Ancient Irish Triad

And as always thanks for listening!

Saurday #3's

2010-03-06T02:10:00.002-05:00

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes whats going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are.....
Mike's veiwing tonight

And as always, thanks for listenng!

An Irish Toast

2010-03-02T16:57:00.000-05:00

Here's to you and yours
And to mine and ours.
And if mine and ours
Ever come across to you and yours,
I hope you and yours will do
As much for mine and ours
As mine and ours have done
For you and yours!

And as always, thanks for listening!

The Harp

2010-03-01T19:19:00.003-05:00

Healer of each wounded warrior,
Comforter of each fine woman,
Guiding refrain over the blue water,
Image- laden, sweet-sounding music!

The book of the O'Connor Don

And as always,thanks for listening!

2010-02-27T16:07:00.002-05:00

My dear Brother Of Arms, En Avant

Drive on soldier, Drive On

God Bless You Sgt Mike McKeown, you'll be sadly missed!

Saturday #3's

2010-02-27T05:32:00.002-05:00

On your journal or mine write 3 words that describes whats going on or how you feel.
My 3 words are....
Worried about friend!

And as always, thanks for listening!